msamy034's Journal, 16 June 2010

Amy, sorry to hear about your father in law. Death makes people do stupid things. My parents explained their wishes with me and my sister years ago. Everything was to be given to my mom. Then when she passes it gets distributed evenly between the two of us. Low and behold, once dad passed my sister wanted everything. I have yet to ask for a thing and it's been over a year. I take care of mom and we pay the house payment and give her extra towards the bills. And I still don't want anything. Yet slowly and slowly she wants more. Yes, money does stupid things to people. I am really sorry you are having to go through this. Don't let it get the best of you. It is never worth the heartache.  

Thanks Keli-the one good thing that has come out of this is my DH and I decied anything worth passing on that we have will be given to the kids well before we go so we can see them enjoy it...not that we have much to leave behind but no way am I going to leave the possibility of family torment behind. 

Well theirs was mostly family heirlooms. Some of this stuff is actually worth quite a bit. This stuff could have been sold by my mom if she ever needed the money. Should have been treated like an investment for having it in such wonderful condition all of these years. But instead, she just gave it to my sister who will either wreck it or sell it down the road. She did not want it. She just didn't want me to have it. But I keep telling mom she should just sell everything and use the money and go crazy with it. Blow it all on a trip or a shopping frenzy. Its hers and no one elses. You have the right idea. Give it away when you can and when it matters. Don't let your children go through what you are. Its not worth knowing it seperated them.  

Amy, I am sooo sorry. My sister inlaw did the same with my MIL before she died. My dh told his mom he wanted nothing of the estate, to use the money to do the things she wanted. He told her to split it between the 2 sisters. My MIL ended up living with my SIL and my SIL used up all of her inheritance and most of the other sisers building a sunroom exension onto her house. Then whem my MIL died she came to us and said the MIL had a small life insurance policy on my dh, and would we please sign it over to her. She used up all the money, and her sister's share, and didn't pay the bills she should ahve. She was executress, and I saw a notice in the paper a year after my MIL died that it was going to probate to decide who got what, but she had already spent and divided up everything, before the probate hearing. It was such a mess, and the few things my MIL left to my hubby and I (gifts that we had given her), she still has and won't return. What a nightmare. We ahve already told the boys what they get, and there is a will with every single thing listed. But most of it we have already decided to give to them, while we are alive and can see them enjoy it. It is such a shame that money and things have so much power over some people. As for the Sketcher's, same thing with my rear end. It is tighter or something. Not as much jiggle when I wiggle!! lol