So sorry you have to deal with that. That's just wrong.
11 Dec 21 by member: laurariley1
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11 Dec 21 by member: mari881120
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Forget what she says! She sounds like she's jealous. You just keep doing what you've been doing and rub it in her face.
11 Dec 21 by member: pfduser
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For what it’s worth, I have a person in my life who projects a lot of their own self doubt and loathing onto others. I never realized it until there was a drinking episode where they really ripped into me for no reason. Still in my life because family, but on a short leash, so to speak. I choose joy too. Plus, I think it pisses them off.
11 Dec 21 by member: Katsolo
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So sorry your mother is not encouraging nor supportive of your achievements. I agree with Erq. When she throws those put downs your way, in your mind counter them with what you know to be true and positive, keeping her remarks on her, where they belong. ❤
11 Dec 21 by member: _bec_ca
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Don't let her venom poison your joy.
11 Dec 21 by member: BeauxS
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I will put in my two cents worth - I had a highly toxic mother - Apparently, according to the Good Book - A child honours their Mother & Father by being a better person - than their Mother & Father ---- Seriously, some parents set the bar so low and their own standards are so low - that it makes it very easy for the child to be the better person than their Mother & Father - therefore - Being the better person honours their Mother & Father.
11 Dec 21 by member: Jergens123
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Never stop improving yourself- no matter who tries to derail you! You are stronger, smarter, and more determined than that!
11 Dec 21 by member: 3dkids2
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Erq1 said it best! You shouldn't have to deal with that. It's sounds thoughtless at best and abusive at worst. Keep going for yourself. You're doing so well even with her putting you down. You are amazing and strong.
11 Dec 21 by member: bdixon1989
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s your mom obese herself- is there a possible jealousy issue, that you have committed to becoming the best and healthiest you can be and she can’t do the same? Personally, I’m not as nice as you are so the nice approach might be to never Bring the subject of diet and weight loss up in her presence. Live and work your plan, don’t talk about it. Let the drop in pounds and the transformation of your body be the proof that you are committed. Walk the walk. Don’t let her bait you. Avoid her. I also don’t believe in the sanctity of parent child relationships. You do not need a toxic parent in your life and no parent needs a toxic child in theirs. Just my view on that subject. Best of luck. Let her attitude be a continuing motivator for you.
11 Dec 21 by member: Kenna Morton
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I'm always wondering what's the motivating factor behind the behavior. I have to wonder if there is some irrational thought in her subconscious that if she says things that make you feel you need her approval that you will somehow remain dependent upon her emotionally. I'm not a parent so I don't know but people are complicated and messy. Maybe she is just afraid you won't need her anymore and is threatened by your independence and beauty. I agree with everyone who have already commented. You are beautiful and have done an amazing job taking care of yourself!!!! We are here to support you!
11 Dec 21 by member: bearnoggin
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Your success could make her feel all kinds of emotions. But they are her emotions and her problems. Your success is cause for joy, not condemnation. Enjoy your victories even if they are bittersweet due to unfortunate comments.
11 Dec 21 by member: bgr12
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I am sorry. A mother shouldn't hurt her daughter; her behavior is superficial and cruel. But I don't think you should ignore her, I think you should respond to her. Without aggression of course, but you should still tell her that what she says and does is not right, that she is not helping you and that you are sorry that she cannot be empathetic enough to understand it.
12 Dec 21 by member: @boutMe
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I see and agree with others but to take a different approach-Maybe she just messed up. Being a mom is hard. You were 11 years old. Maybe you should mention it to her and let her tell you she has no recollection and she is sorry. And try to move on. If it is a constant thing- that's a different story. I mess up every day as a mom and say things I regret and try to apologize. I know it is opposite what everyone else on the post is saying but something to consider. Congrats on your success.
12 Dec 21 by member: davidsprincess
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Lord please dont let me become your mother to my daughter. I am sad for you at 11 and sad for you now. I had a stepmom like this, didnt think biological moms could be this shitty.
12 Dec 21 by member: EggBeater42
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I totally understand! My mother is the only person in my life who will literally look st me and tell me I look awful. She actually did that a week ago. she's always been fixated on looks, an anorexic dancer and model for many years. I've never been truly big myself, maybe 20 extra pounds at most. She once said to me, "what happened to my beautiful daughter" when I gained the college 15....everyone in my life tells me she's toxic. They think I'm nuts when I say I'm fat but I learned that from her. I try to ignore her comments but it's impossible. I know how it is to be feeling fine and have one comment from mom literally ruin your week. I'm sorry. She's wrong and the only person who should decide how you feel about your body is you.
12 Dec 21 by member: rmb1652
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My mom is also toxic about these things. I’ve accepted that she won’t ever be able to give me the support I would like and now I give myself that support instead. And I don’t talk to her about weight, hers or mine. I don’t tell her what I’ve lost and if she says something about hers I’ll respond with empathy but I’m not going into that toxic spiral with her!
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I am sorry your mom down plays your accomplishments. She seems to pick on your week points.
Many times, moms don't even realize they are doing that. maybe she thinks if she says something just at the time she feels your overeating, that it will be a reminder for you not to do it again. because when you start to eat something not healthy possibly you'll remember her comment.
did you ever explain to her how hurtful her comments can be. she may not ever be as supportive as you'd like; but she might tone down her negative comments.
12 Dec 21 by member: lydium
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I have a toxic Mom too. Unfortunately, I have read a lot about the subject. So, I had to limit contact and I feel so much better and healthier overall especially emotionally.
12 Dec 21 by member: nnaasli
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that happened to me to. and it hurts. but I to had limited contact. I felt better and stronger
12 Dec 21 by member: cstrutz
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