I have- for as long as I can remember- been completely addicted to food. When I wasn't bingeing and actually was able to restrict calories- it still was the constant thing on my mind. I am 2 different people at 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. I wake with motivation and by 6 p.m.- it's gone. Trying to get it together. Hoping that one day I will meet my goal of 160 pounds and not turn to food when difficult challenges come my way. I lost a lot of progress and it sickens me. My pet peeves are when people tell me to give myself grace. I think people should be held more accountable for their actions. I am trying to be healthy. Already nearing 50 and I don't want to retire fat and immobile. All I have to do is burn more calories than I eat... sounds so easy.
3/30/22 Going to stop tracking and thinking about food. Going to stop hating my body and learn to appreciate it and all that it is capable of. This is not glorifying obesity or being overweight which is a terrible thing... it is simply to live like a normal person who can enjoy food but not have it on her brain every waking moment and to be healthy as a priority instead of hot... To love the loose skin, the wrinkles, the gray hair because it is a celebration of me and my life which I am so thankful for. I just want to treat my body well without obsessing. Is that possible? Time will tell. 5/1/22- I am a liar. I can't not track my calories. I am still constantly thinking about what I can and cannot eat.