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lynnskin's Journal

 
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14 May 2012

Day 19: Monday morning clean slate

No protection from frustration


I wish I felt more energetic and enthusiastic today but I don't. My 6AM pilates class was not scheduled this morning and it has always been there. It was very unsettling for it not to be there. A government agency had notified me on Saturday that they were terminating my policy due to not receiving an application by May 1st. The application was submitted in March and they have no record of it. Trying to get a hold of the facilitator was very frustrating. There were so many things going on that I could not control and it was maddening.

My kids had a similar day. They are both thin as rails and yet my daughter wanted to "eat her feelings" with peanut butter clusters. Did she learn it from me? Probably or maybe it's everywhere on TV, movies and internet. Even my sister wanted to bring Raisinettes to a Broadway Show!

I've eaten crap and now I feel like crap. It's been a heavy price to pay. Hopefully, next time, I will remember what this feels like and not put myself through this again. My plan is to go running and swimming tonight and it's the last thing I feel like doing. I could just go to sleep. I will do the exercising and, hopefully, the endorphins will kick in and I will be glad I did.

It took so long for the weight to come off and no time to put it back on. Kind of sucks, doesn't it?

13 May 2012

Day 18: Happy Mother's Day - I hope this binge eating stops soon

My new iPad 32GB with Wi-Fi Dream Comes True. Thank You Family!

How lucky am I? My family gave me a new iPad which I have wanted since they first came out. I am so excited that I haven't stopped crying. It was so thoughtful and loving. My cards were so beautiful too even when my son wrote Happy Birthday. That's what today felt like.

There have been so many parties over the last few days and my resistance has been low. My fine tuned body is reacting badly to the sugar and even though I exercised this morning with my sister with our Sunday four mile walk, I just want to crash. This is the price I pay when I eat poorly.

Monday will start a new week and I will get back on track. I will make better food choices, get back to swimming, running, and spinning, and then there's this new iPad just waiting for me. New Motivation.

13 May 2012

Day 17: Fresh Haircuts for a New Attitude

You can feel better if your hair looks good


My kids and I have been emotionally and physically drained lately from all the school activity. As good as I was in making good food choices at the party Thursday night, Friday night in Little China Town, Flushing, NY, was a genuine food fest of family favorites and I tasted everything. I have a food hangover and low, low energy.

On Saturday, my son and I go to the gym and drop my daughter off at ballet. My son needs a haircut badly and I use my Mother's Day card to demand it. My daughter has beautiful long hair and requests a hair cut separately from him and I make appointments in the afternoon. Rushing around in the afternoon to do errands, I realize my hair is wild and decide to get a blow out while they get theirs coiffed so we all look good and it is almost Mother's Day.

Somehow the new hairdos put is in a better place and that was the point. Maybe it doesn't take much to get out of a funk i.e., wearing a certain color, listening to music, reading a great book or watching a movie. Whatever it is, it just takes some sort of shift, even a small one can reap great benefits.

11 May 2012

Day 16: Emotional Eating Kicking In.

Party and Pain


Two great reasons to eat! It's a party and I'm celebrating. I'm upset so I think eating will make me feel better.

Last night I was at a wonderful client party that had lobster, crab, oysters, shrimp, clams, roast beef, lamb chops, etc. you get the picture. It was delicious and I enjoyed stimulating conversations with my clients. I opted not to drink alcohol since I had a meeting in the morning and I knew it would lower my resistance to making better food choices. Feeling courageous, I played a game with the dessert table, checking out the goodies, and since I was full from lobster, I was able to walk away from it. This is new behavior since I have a weakness for sweets. It was a great evening without adding on the extra calories. Good for me!

This morning was another story. We had some problems at school that needed to be addressed and even though it went well and we can put it behind us, I was emotionally drained. My body craved carbs and it was hard to resist. Now I feel sluggish and want to crash in the middle of the afternoon.

The bottom line is life happens. How I handle it is my choice. I've been listening to motivational tapes and may go for a run. Drinking lots of water may help too. Think positive and keep going. Tomorrow is another day.

10 May 2012

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