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Weight History
showing entries 1 to 5 of 50
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06 February 2017
Today I went to the gym for the first time in about a year. That first step was terrifying. I've been so scared. Thank God for a wonderful friend who wanted to use the gym membership that I've been paying for to go with me! We had a wonderful time laughing and working out. It felt really good to have my heart rate be right where her's was with me being 100 lbs more than her. that was encouraging for me. And the fact that there were all shapes and sizes in the gym.
Back in November of 2011 my husband broke my heart. I had been working so hard to make our marriage work. He had told me he was disgusted by my weight and that I was lazy. I was pregnant with our second child at the time. After having our daughter I worked hard every day at losing weight and lost over 70 pounds. We were at the Marine Corp ball and he was drunk, grabbing other women's asses when he was dancing with me. There I was... all dolled up, looking gorgeous, after working hard for over a year, and he was wanting other women over me. I was devastated. I was ready to end our marriage that night. I even called the attorney the next day to file. After a few months of marriage counseling we decided to stay together.
We've been married almost 13 years now. The hurt is still there. I still fear he finds me gross. Our sex life has declined. :( So taking this first step back into the gym since the disrespect he showed me has been huge. I allowed the choices he made that night to control what I did the last 3 years. It was wrong. I'm wrong. I shouldn't have lost the weight for him. I should have done it for myself.
I'm fighting. I'm fighting for myself. I'm fighting to live longer for me! I want to be able to do all the fun things my girls want to do with me. I want to be able to chase my girls and to have energy. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to feel proud of myself when I look at myself. I want to know that I am worth it. I am worth the blood, sweat and tears it's going to take to get where I need to be. My life is a blessing to others, and I want it to continue to be a blessing, but even more so. I am worth it. Even though I feel unworthy I know that I am. Breathe in and fight, Alicia. You are an overcomer!!!
Weigh-in:
273.0 lb
lost so far:
3.0 lb
still to go:
128.0 lb
Diet followed poorly
(5 comments)
losing 0.0 lb a week
01 July 2015
On July 1st I became inspired again. One of my coworkers and I were talking and I mentioned that come the middle of August I wanted to get a gym membership and start being good. She asked me, "Why wait until then? By that time you could already be down 15 pounds." This made sense to me! Why was I waiting?! Why was it always, "tomorrow I will start!"???
I immediately went online and researched the new gym in our area and bought an annual membership. The first night there was a little overwhelming, but two weeks in and I already feel like I belong and am one of the regulars.:)
I started at 287.9 and I am now 276. I know this works. I have done it before.
I'm making this a lifestyle, not a fast fix that feels unbearable.
I think that's why i like WW. I can still eat chocolate, I can still eat anything I want, but I have to be accountable for it. Tell me I can't eat chocolate and that's all I want!
I'm going to focus on being an amazing example to my children. I'm a nurse now, so I need to be able to set an active example of a healthy lifestyle to my patients as well.
Lord, help me to better myself. May I take care of the body that you gave to me.
Weigh-in:
276.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
131.0 lb
Diet followed N/A
(1 comment)
07 January 2015
Depression sucks. Everything in my brain says I need to get some exercise, clean the house, cook, spend time with my little one...all I want to do is lay on the couch and sleep for hours.:( I know depression has played a big role in my weight gain. After moving to NC my depression meds got changed and I regained all the weight I lost. Now I'm transitioning back to the meds I was on and doing great with. Praying it helps. My family and I am suffering.
Forcing myself to go get on my spin bike, even though I can't bear the thought. I KNOW I will feel better after I do. Update to follow!
(3 comments)
20 September 2014
Weigh-in:
271.5 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
126.5 lb
Diet followed 100%
add comment
losing 0.8 lb a week
20 June 2014
6-20-14
Today I started tracking my caloric intake again. I took the brave step of stepping on the scale. It said 280.9!!! I can't believe I've allowed myself to get this morbidly obese. I want to cry, but I won't cause that won't help anything.
I saw a picture of myself last night when I was exercising and doing weight watchers daily. I looked amazing, and I know I felt amazing. I was probably more like 190 in the pic. I know that I can do this, but I must have a plan in place. So, here goes....
1. track food with points like WW. 30/day
2. exercise as tolerated at least 3 times a week
3. weigh self monthly, so as not to get discouraged if there is slow progress
4. make sure to drink water at least 8 cups a day
5. make sure to say one positive thing about myself EVERY day
So there's my plan.
Short term goals are:
1. lose 10 lbs. by July 20th
2. get back on track after cheating
3. exercise 12 times in the next month
4. plan food and meals DAILY!
Long term goals
1. get down to 180
2. exercise 5 times a week
3. graduate from LPN school
4. maintain, maintain, maintain!!!!
Weigh-in:
282.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
137.0 lb
Diet followed poorly
(6 comments)
gaining 0.3 lb a week
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