Nobody wants to be skinny more than I do. Trouble is…I am not a skinny person. I was born big. While I am only 5’4,” I have bigger bones. My life has had the usual family growth, moves, jobs and grief.

My weight has fluctuated with the changes. Hmmm……Sounds like an emotional eater! (Yes, I am Jeejee and I am addicted to food. The spirit is indeed willing but the flesh wants to do crazy things.) I have tried all the latest fad diets, pills, shakes and even a 12 step type program for overeaters. The “plans” work for the moment and then life changes and the weight comes back.

Now, I am past mid life, overweight, bigger boned, emotional eater, wife, mother, grandmother, daughter to aging parents and full time employee. I have recently realized I am the perfect candidate to become a statistic as another female death by heart attack. Doesn’t sound very positive, but that is where I am.

What to do? What to eat? Is this the start of another “plan”? Who am I? (I just listed who I see myself as.) But, who am I, really, and how I am suppose to live?

I do not have all of the answers to the above questions. I have some ideas, knowledge and life experiences. I am finally learning a sense of purpose in life.

So, my goal is that I will live one day at a time: Planning and documenting the journey; Applying the knowledge and learning new; Setting small goals that are healthy; Accepting life’s changes as a sign for new and better things; Realizing that as a child of the King it’s not about skinny but about learning to use how he has created me for a better purpose.