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01 February 2018

Wow, I had a eye opening moment today. I spend a lot time trying figure things out. Why do I struggle with weight? Why do I struggle with friendships? I define me, I know who I am and I have to work on developing that person. If I don't work on making myself stronger and loving who I am than everything will repeat itself as it has. I am the one that has to change but it doesn't start with diet. It starts with how I view myself. I have to see myself as a winner and conquer of my demons. I have to free myself from what people say I have to be or should be. Yes, I want to lose weight and keep it off but I don't want to lose me. I want to tell myself that I am wonderful, sexy and beautiful at 200 pounds! Today I got up and said I am going to take life by the balls and squeeze, lol! You know what I actually followed my diet and for the first time in a long time and don't feel hungry. GO figure!!!! Guess what the scaled moved too!

Just so people know I was the same weight for awhile. I couldn't get the scale to move and so I added 64oz water, no sugar or salt to my diet for the past couple days. I struggle with no sugar and salt slightly( one meal of balance here and there) The weight didn't magically drop off. I think I had a lot water weight due to stress.
Weigh-in: 200.0 lb lost so far: 13.0 lb still to go: 50.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (2 comments) losing 28.0 lb a week

30 January 2018

Weigh-in: 208.0 lb lost so far: 5.0 lb still to go: 58.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment steady weight

28 January 2018

Adventures in Adulthood......

Well I haven't lost much weight after working really hard and watching what I eat. All if it was very dishearten but nothing like this weekend. My lovely beautiful husband decided to pick me up in the throws of passion. It was fine for first minute or so until he drop me head first down on the floor. I felt the full weight of my body right on my head. OUCH!!!!!!!!

I have been recovering from a conclusion. Than amazon in its glory decided while I was in recovery to ship my ordered jeans. My American size 12 jeans didn't fit anymore. I once a pond a time had gotten to 30-31 inch waist but of course ballooned up. I at my size of being 5'5 206 pounds can squeeze comfortably in a American size 14 but it not a confidant fit for me yet. I am mostly have a fat upper body. I am that apple shape right now, if you can call it that. Homer Simpson body is more the truth. anyway, my husband opens up that jeans and says " holy sh#t you wear a size 16" I gave the look that every man that died by the hands of a women he loved saw before death.

My husband than says " oh, I am just saying that bigger waist than me" Well 28 inch waist, in perfect shape grey haired old man. I didn't hear you complaining when you had my big butt lifted up in air in our kitchen( before he dropped me)

Anyway that's my life.

Going to try a new diet to jump start my weight loss back! I will keep you updated. Have a great week :)
Weigh-in: 208.0 lb lost so far: 5.0 lb still to go: 58.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 1.8 lb a week

24 January 2018

Weigh-in: 209.0 lb lost so far: 4.0 lb still to go: 59.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment steady weight

19 January 2018

I know this Journal is about weight loss but I think your mental health plays a big part in that. I am leaving today to say good-bye to man I consider my father. I am scared and I am not worried about my weight but I want him to know I am going to be healthy. That I am going to live the best life I can. I have already lost my sweet nephew, cousin and dear niece Sarah she had cancer and ( Pitt-Hopkins) all this passed year. They have taught me lessons. Life is short, enjoy the adventure and most importantly take care of yourself so you can be around those you love. So that you can live your best life and have the best days. I have to get in shape and enjoy the days, minutes I have on this earth to the fullest. I want run marathons and hike mountains and travel the world. I been inspired not only to become healthy but am now studying to become a Linguist. I am also starting the hobby of learning traditional northern African and Traditional Kosher cooking. I have so much drive this time to stay on task and be the best me.

See you all Wednesday.

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