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05 April 2010

02 April 2010

Weigh-in: 186.0 lb lost so far: 4.0 lb still to go: 6.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 1.9 lb a week

27 March 2010

I knew that I was going to have a friend over for dinner last night, so I tried to eat lightly throughout the day. When I entered what I thought I'd consume for our meal that night, I was very happily surprised to see that if I ate moderately, I could stick basically within my calorie allowance for the day.

This is a story of best laid plans, though. I ate basically what I'd planned at dinner (though she brought over a surprise piece of chocolate cake and I had an extra glass of wine), but after she left I did what I would have done in the past--served myself up a little more dinner food, then gobbled up a bunch of dates and chocolate without really thinking (or enjoying, I might add). I wasn't hungry--not at all. I did this because she left kind of early and I wasn't ready to go to bed, but I was slightly buzzed from the wine and couldn't think of anything else to do.

I went back and forth about entering all this food into my food journal--instead, I would have just considered it a "lost day." But this morning I did, to see what it would come up to. WOW. The amazing thing about this is that in the past, I would have eaten all that for dinner, plus I would not have eaten lightly during the day. No wonder I've gained weight over the past couple of years. My eating has been just out of control--and I really didn't realize to what an extent that was the case.

Instead of feeling badly, though, I really feel kind of good. Now I know what was going on, I know what I have to do, and moreover I know that I can do it.

There will be days when I don't count calories. I thought today might be one of them, in fact--my boyfriend is coming home from a week away and I'd like to make him a nice dinner, share a bottle of wine, and just enjoy myself. And actually, I will do that. But I will also keep track of what I'm eating during the day and make sure I can balance out what will be an indulgent night with a relatively virtuous day. I will also be absolutely sure to eat reasonable portions of whatever I make tonight, and not allow what happened last night to happen again.

I feel in control now. I think this whole diet thing might actually work.

24 March 2010

Today was a difficult day for sticking to my calories. First, I was very hungry after doing 20 or so minutes of yoga this morning, and I remained hungry for the rest of the day. Second, I had lunch out with a friend, and even with my healthy choice of sandwich (whole wheat wrap with hummus, lettuce, tomato, avocado, swiss cheese, and pepperoncini) and complete abstention from the accompanying potato chips, my lunch had a lot more calories (650) than I'd normally allot to one meal. (Next time, I'll ask for no cheese since I could hardly taste it anyway.) Third, I ate a package of Twizzlers, which I remembered as a decent diet food, but turned out to be very low in fat but high in calories. An they weren't even good! And fourth, my boyfriend is away all this week. After he called to say he could only talk for a minute, I of course turned to the remaining treats in my house to make myself feel better. (Emotional eating at its finest.)

It came together in a perfect storm! Since the BF is coming home this weekend and I'm having a friend over for dinner Friday night, I've been trying to stay below my allotment this week. But it's not working all that well, which is another source of frustration.

One thing to look forward to is the arrival of my new scale--the first I'v ever owned, which I think may be a sign that I'm in this diet for serious now. In the past I've eschewed weighing myself at home, instead using my sister's or the doctor's scale when I for some reason wanted to keep track. I'm excited because now I will get to see progress, and also find out how much I in fact weigh. The weight I entered when I joined FS was a guess--it's a number I've been at before, and makes sense given which parts of my wardrobe fit and which don't. But I also think it may in fact be a little high, which would be good, on the one hand, but also potentially bad since I may have to lower my calorie count even further.

Nonetheless, no turning back now!


20 March 2010

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