mollyallen1982's Journal, 17 October 2011

Molly We all know in our hearts what "taking space" really means. If we haven't said it ourselves at some point, we've certainly heard it from someone we care about. It's rare when that phrase actually means what it sounds like. Know this, the time is going to pass anyway, so use it to your full advantage. The best way to overcome this is to stay focused and be successful. You need to take care of yourself. Do things to make yourself feel and look better. You have control. You'll feel so much better as you see more progress. Don't let someone take that away from you. Don't think about what he's doing, ask your friends NOT to tell you about sightings. This is the time to think of yourself. Selfishly and apologetically. Long baths, favorite music, facials, walks in a favorite place, time with friends who build you up, something you haven't done in a while, but used to enjoy - all these things move you to a better place. Have faith, things always work out for the best in the end. 

I appreciate your support!! The only thing I can possibly counter is that in our case, space really meant space. The one thing we prided ourselves on was honesty and being forthcoming. I know he didn't intend to hurt me, but sometimes that happens. In fact, he talked with me about what’s going on in his life right now and he said that he does miss me and love me, but that he’s not able to be in a relationship with me right now. He’s struggling with a return from deployment and transitioning back to the “real world.” He’s not ready to handle the emotions that are striking him from all directions. I hope that in the future we can reconcile and come together again. My family has counseled me that he’s simply filling a void with something less meaningful because he’s unable to deal with the pain. I really care more for his mental and emotional health than my own right now. I’m genuinely happy if he’s happy with her for the time being. However, I don’t find her to be a quality individual and I truly hope that even if he does not end up with me, that he ends up with someone more wholesome than this person. He really does deserve better; he’s such a kind and caring individual. Anyway, thank you for listening to me vent/ramble… every little bit helps! 

You sound like an awesome person. I wish all the best for you. You deserve to be happy. I care. 

i am under a lot of stress with my kids not man,i have had him under control for years lol.i get more determined than ever with stress to succeed.my diet and exercise seems to be the only thing i can control,fix,make better.depends on ur attitude.a few months ago i might have given up and eaten ice cream with a brownie,yum,but i wont let anything defeat me now.WE CAN DO THIS!!! 

THANKS!!!! I sure hope I can. I'm mostly depressed now as these things sink in. That certainly jump-starts a diet... hopefully I can continue it as things start to heal. Thank you both.