YellowBird's Journal, 04 June 2009

why no meds? might help you out....not trying to be rude, just wondering why you'd go through the hell of both at once! hang in there, and we're always here to talk. good luck to you! 

We can only do so much. If you feel you are overloaded, then try to divert some focus away from one aspect of your life. It's hard to balance several obstacles at once. If you have seen someone and they have either prescibed or suggested meds for your bipolarism, then right now that should be a priority. Maybe once that is in control, the rest will start to fall into place. I just think your emotional well being takes precedent. I'm no expert, but I do have some experience with this sort of thing and just want to throw that bit of advice your way. These are good people here, and there is a common goal among them. It's not just about weight loss...it's about living well and being healthy.  

To Navychick: I cant afford medication. At all. Awake: You both do have good advice, thank you very much for it. And I know it would make it a lot more easy if I was on medication so that I could focus. But I really have no money. I barely have enough money to feed my cat. I dont have money to talk to a psychologist to prescribe me the medication, either. When I was younger, I used to go to therepy, and I had 2 or 3 different psychologists that told me that I was bipolar. I was on medication for a while, and it made me gain a lot of weight and the whole time I felt so bland, so emotionless. So I stopped taking it and then everything turned for the worst. Now I've ben off medication for a few years. And things havent been overly horrible, I havent attempted suicide for years. But I can tell more recently that my bipolar disorder is really messing up my relationship and my diet. I've been trying to find a better job (right now Im working for my mother who hates me) but it is seeming impossible. Once I make enough money, my boyfriend and I will both try to pay for me to se someone and get on medication. But for right now, I'm fucked. 

I am not sure of where you live but there should be some kind of free mental health clinic that will see you free of charge and give you meds and also offer counseling. I went to one after having my first child because I had really bad depression. Check with you department of health and human services and they should be able to get the information.  

Dm is right... there is places that are non for profit. Also med companys supplies the needed meds for free. I used to work for a stress center for 10 years, also my sister is bipolar also. I can not imagine what you are going through and I would love to support you in the weight loss journey, but you need to get well. If you let me know what city you live in I can find where the non for profits by you and they will give you the meds that you need.