madaboutmoose's Journal, 25 March 2009

Still having some snow??? I have never been to North Idaho, I assume since you are still having some snow it is still rather cold out. Is there anything starting to peek out of the ground yet? 

We've had temps into the 40's ... so not terribly cold. In town the grass is peeking out ... no buds on the trees or bushes yet and nothing popping up that I've seen. At my home which is at a slightly higher elevation than town (3500 ft.) we still have several feet of snow on the ground!!! Our summers are short here ... I've seen it snow in May ... on occasion even June!!  

Mad this is an ongoing theme....why the rush? You've talked before about this being a lifetime thing. This is the really tough one for me...I keep hoping that when I get to the goal something magical will have changed and I will have a new relationship with food...I think the reality is that when I get to the goal if I want to maintain it I will need to continue to use tools and systems like FS to maintain. If that is the case there is not time in the future when I get to cross the goal line, spike the ball and do my touchdown dance. There is a quote I use from the book Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance that fits here. Its long but worth it perhaps it can be a launching point for a broader discussion of goals and impatience. I know I need to read it about every thrid day...."Mountains should be climbed with as little effort as possible and without desire. The reality of your own nature should determine the speed. If you become restless, speed up. If you become winded, slow down. You climb the mountain in an equilibrium between restlessness and exhaustion. Then, when you're no longer thinking ahead, each footstep isn't just a means to and end but a unique event in itself. This leaf has jagged edges. This rock looks loose. From this place the snow is less visible, even though closer. These are things you should notice anyway. To love only for some future goal is hallow. It's the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here's where things grow. But without the top you can't have any sides. It's the top that defines the side. So on we go...we have a long way...no hurry...just one step after the next..." R.Pirsig 

Why the rush? That is a good question. So I won't feel like I'm playing catch up from past mistakes. Which of course is rather foolish since when I "arrive" it will simply be more of the same. So, today, every time I was hungry I ate. In fact, I am getting ready to eat again now. Healthy choices but eat. I know nothing magical will happen when I reach the "goal." It is just something in my head. That is where the work is now. In my head. Sure, I can still lose at least 20 lbs ... maybe even all the way to goal. Time will tell where my body finds a comfortable set point. But I look pretty darn good and I feel much much better and I know if I continue to eat well and exercise ... and use the tools here on fs that I will most likely continue to lose for a while longer. So, while I am certain I will continue to "freak" out at fluctuations on the scale, and worry that I am eating "too many" calories I am focusing on eating when I am hungry and NOT depriving myself. I know that deprivation is a certain set up for me both emotionally and physically. I went on another site and looked at caloric calculations for my height, weight, and activity level. At 175, which is my goal weight, for "extreme weight loss" my bottom line is 1470 calories a day. Well, I didn't even calculate my current weight!! LOL!! So, if I weighed 175, which I don't, and I wanted to lose weight I should eat 1470 calories a day. I might have hit near 1400 a couple of days ... maybe ... I'd have to check. The eating thing is easier than changing my thinking patterns. UGH. It's good to have these conversations ... I've not had this before. I am hoping being this transparent helps me avoid old patterns. Thanks Jim ... you always make me think. Good quote. 

We'll get there. Just keep being positive and please know that all my comments and discussions are meant in a constructive positive way.  

I know how you feel, but I think its a good idea to increase the cals :] do so slowly so your body can adjust, but keep your body's needs in mind. If you're hungry, eat! When I was in high school, a teacher noticed that a friend and I weren't eating lunch very often. My friend is very slender and admitted to our teacher that she wasnt eating lunch because she was 'watching what she ate'. My teacher told her she should be eating often and healthfully for her metabolism/age/weight, otherwise when she's older, she'll be eating even less. It makes sense. The more weight you lose, the less calories your body will need, and we should probably be eating the correct about FOR our bodies NOW. lol just some thoughts to consider. Stay positive and take it easy  

I got in 1410 calories yesterday ... ate when I was hungry. Up .2 today but no worries ... I feel good. Today I'll do the same, eat when I'm hungry and make a conscious effort not to stress about things that don't need stressing about!! I appreciate the sincere comments, discussions, and feedback. It makes a huge difference. Thanks!! 

I too have noticed that I am eating more the past few days. I think maybe the weight loss I have had would put me at higher calories?? I dunno. I am going to try and find that website that calculates calories for me, I will post it in my journal and then you can maybe use it too if you want. Keep up the good work. 

http://www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm This is the site I've used to calculate my caloric needs ... although I have been quite remiss at following their advice!! LOL!! I'm working on it though ... one step at a time!!