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I really have to get back into the swing of things and get back into getting into shape (mentally and physically) for me. Why do I do this to myself, allow things to get to me, allow people and circumstances to control me. I need to stop it. There is just so much happening. My parents are a big drain on me now.My mom is 87 and has alzhemiers and my dad is 85 and has Parkinsons and beginning alzhemiers. Both wear adult diapers and act so helpless around me. My brother is in the area and helps during the week, but weekends and nights it is me. I've moved here with them to help take care of them and sell my house. I'm afraid I may loose the house (foreclosure or short sale). I just can't afford it and I'm meeting with a lawyer next week. I'm engaged, which should be a happy thing but my fiance couldn't get a good job here so had to move 3 hours away and I may only see him once a month. My kids live away also. I feel so alone and very tired. It is just so much work and never looks like it will end. I really wish I could turn back the clock and escaped when I could when I was younger. Maybe went a different direction with my job choice so I wasn't locked here. Sorry to 'go on being poor me' I know there are worse things but I'm just so tired of it all. Tomorrow is another day and I'll be fine, but for right now, I'm just so tired.
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Joyce - I know your pain. And I am so sorry you are feeling so drained. There is no shame in recognizing the needs of your parents, and if you are unable to continue to meet them. While they might not want, or like it... they may have to consider professional help. Either at home, or in a nursing care facility. Honey, you are one person. And not a trained or paid professional. And while I truly admire all of the love, compassion and exceptional care your have...and are...giving your parents - you will do no good for anyone if you burn yourself all the way out and have no life when theirs are over. You and your brother should resolve these care issues now. Seek out a social worker in your parents state. And find out their options. Then move to where your fiance is....sell the house if you can, or let go back to the bank. Whatever, it's not the worst thing in the world. It's time for you to love and care for you Joyce! You are tired, as well you should be. You're doing exhausting work - mentally, emotionally and physically. Feed the places within you that bring you deep joy. It doesn't mean you don't or won't love your parents. YOU WILL! But they needed to embrace their own responsibilities of planning for end of life care, and relying on your adult children til the very end - can be too much. I love you, and am worried for you. Send me a personal email anytime. I'll send you my number and we'll talk! Love.
25 Jun 12 by member: jsfantome
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thank you Paula for all your words and feelings. I truely know you sincerely care. I'll send you a private message soon. There is just so much involved with my folks that right now professional help is not an option, mostly because of my brother, his wife, his daughter and my folks, but soon I will have to make a decision. Especially when my house sells. Take care, & hugs
26 Jun 12 by member: JMA312
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