minitata's Journal, 24 May 2017

Well a week of 'maintaining' and I've piled on the weight.

I don't know why but I've had an obsession with nut butters and pork scratchings. I cured the nut butter the other day - I ate it all day until I felt sick and now the idea of eating any makes me feel yuk - I thought as it works with alcohol perhaps it will work with food. The other thing is that this morning I was really, really hungry - I'd got over that. Back to the tried and tested feast & fast.

This being depressed is depressing. If I wasn't depressed already I would be by now. How do you stop worrying about someone who has always complained that you're not good enough but who piles stuff on you. I've decided to just try to give back a little of what she has given me over the years - but it's hard, I'm a caring person my mum has always been 'honest' with me - daughters are not worth having - I should be glad I can't have children, she wishes she'd only had 1 (my elder brother). Keith is so good and then there's me ... it's a pity I'm not more like him. Blah blah blah. Never mind I'm 250 miles away and have no intention of going back - no matter how much she says I've deserted her.

So I'm back to eating sensibly - or not eating. Thank you to all your good wishes - it helps.

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1493 kcal

Fat: 118.82g | Prot: 96.43g | Carb: 27.08g.   Lunch: Blueberries, Macadamia Nuts, Sainsbury's Free Range Organic Eggs - Medium. Dinner: Cooked Mushrooms, Tomatoes, Butter, Tesco Cod Fillets. more...

2339 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Driving - 1 hour, Showering - 6 minutes, Hanging Laundry - 25 minutes, Cooking - 15 minutes, Sitting - 3 hours, Resting - 10 hours and 34 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 40 minutes. more...