I think what it comes down to long term is tracking your carb intake every day. It is way too easy to guesstimate and miss a few here and there. Planning is still important too. Plan what you are going to eat, write it all down, and continue counting carbs.
Sometimes we have to choose our own mental and emotional health over the needs of others. Just because these people are family it does not give them the right to subject you to their toxic ways.
Happy New Year!
Stacy