|
Why are some people so cruel?
I will NOT let this ruin my good intentions and i will NOT let them stray from my path. I' won't really.
But it really hurt today. I was so glad to have some extra time, and i went out with my horse into the woods. I was still glowing and radiating, when these girls passed me on their bikes. I didn't know them. They couldn't know me...
suddenly out of nowhere one of the girls thought it would be funny to remark "poor little horse". Just loud enough for me to hear.
I don't nead a dictionary to read between the lines. She meant i was way too fat to sit on that poor horse...
The sun stopped shining, and my mood dropped from scary heights to even deepers lows... I felt just like a little girl again, looking around, afraid more people would look that way at me. A similar thing happened three weeks ago, when i was on my bike. What do they think to accomplish? keeping me indoors and out of sight, so i won't "smear" there perfect little narrowminded worlds anymore? do they want me to go home feel terrible and stuff my face even more, so they will always stay skinnier than me?
...
I am 40 years old, i considder myselve smart and wise. I have a steady and good income, i own a horse, and i have the leasure time during the day to go horseback riding without my parents telling me to go to scool and studie...
I no longer feel peer-pressure, i no longer think that putting someone else down is a way to feel better about myselve. I can do what i want, when i want and where i want to. I have a high self-asteam inspite my (over)weight ...
I understand why this girl in that particular group felt the nead to put me down. More even than she understood herselve.
...
It still hurts.
Diet Calendar Entry for 30 September 2011:
|
3857 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Horseback Riding - 3 hours, Bicycling (moderate) - 13/mph - 7 minutes, hula 20min - 20 minutes, Resting - 12 hours and 33 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
|
|