Kat86's Journal, 08 September 2011

Are you sure it's a "slim chick" he desires? My husband has made it clear that he doesn't want me to get too skinny and my son has always dated heavier ladies and is now married to such a lady, and she is gorgeous. One thing that bothers me about your post is your worry of him cheating on you. Cheaters cheat on skinny women too. He has chosen to be with you the way you are and chances are that he likes it that way. 

I know he doesn't want a skinny girl and I know he wouldn't cheat on me we r so committed. But it's all totally in me head the feeling of being totally un worthy. I know alot if it is because we are in s really stressful time at the moment I work 9-5 he works nights. He works in a really popular cocktail bar surrounded by women and I feel like he comes home to fat Oaf! Lol. I know so much of it is in my head and I do t want to be skinny at all I am happy with my figure just wish it was all a bit smaller and alot firmer! I have these dreams of us being like a power couple and being successful and me the perfect wife. Good figure. Funny and nice so far got the funny and nice bit down! Lol.  

It seems to me, that these thoughts you are having are like ammunition for you. Use them to kick start your new way of life. Instead of worrying that you are too big, start thinking about how great its going to be when you are the size you'd like to be. I may be way out of line here, because I haven't read any of your other journal posts, but whenever I start to feel depressed, I use those thoughts as a way to keep myself motivated and on track. 

No ure totally right I was thinking that in the car... Enough is enough but it's not letting those depressive thoughts win and to keep on going. I really found it helped tonight talking about it as I can't really talk about it to my friends and I can get it out of my head and reflect on it more with reason than emotion! 