FLOWERDUDE's Journal, 18 July 2011

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Over the past 15 months, this journal has been a place where I processed, whined and "patted myself on the back" ... a place where I confessed and cheered ...even when I was silently working towards my goals in the real world and wouldn't say a thing...FS is my safe place. thank you.

So here I am again.. .as I am contemplating where I want to be...I am thinking of physical fitness. I almost get nauseated thinking about. My adolescent insecurities choke me..almost to the point of tears when I think about this next step. psssh...Not almost, I actually tear up.

I was the proverbial fat kid who couldn't manage one chin up or climb the rope. I chose over and over again to be the manager or water boy... so that I didn't have to do be humiliated in front of my peers... or deal with pain. And as I confront this once again.. I am finding little Stevie still is hiding in the locker room picking up the towels.

So...not that I have come to any conclusion or I am drawing a line in the sand... BUT... I am getting this out of my head/heart..and putting it out there in cyber world to say.. I see you.."little Stevie"... and it's gonna be ok...and it's time to come out and work this mutha out.

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little Pixi is sitting on the sidelines too... but big Pix tends to tell her to pull up the big girl panties and deal with it most days... it is a lot harded to do than it is to say but I know big Steve can make little Stevie comfortable and will eventually get him out of that locker room! One step at a time, and it does get easier. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us!

18 Jul 11 by member: pixidaisy

Flowerdude as Nike says it...Just do it!. I am not trying to be insensitive at all. I know it is scary but you need to find things and situations that you can start to become more physical. First of all start at home. Your living room even in your shorts and tennies. Get a video or even an exersize game and start there. Do a little warm up and then go for it. Just starting is the hard part. Once you start then you will probably like it...I did. It makes you feel good and accomplished. Just keep adding time to your workouts, little by little. Go for a walk after dark, no one will know and or care. Just starting is the hardest thing. Get out your Ipod or M3p with some of your favorite tunes (make a play list), put in your earplugs and Do it! If you are already loosing and or lost weight you need this next step to help tone up that handsome body of yours. It is also important for your heart. Just have lots of good clean cold water near by and go for it. I have confidence in you. You can do it. It is time to start! Keep us posted on your progress.

18 Jul 11 by member: fairplay2

Although Little Stevie is still there, give him a hug, put your arm across his shoulders and walk him on out of that locker room. He can be safe in the company of a grown man who has conquered 110 pounds - ONE HUNDRED AND TEN POUNDS!!!! That trumps chin-ups, pull-ups, rope climbing, racing, and anything else that came up in school gym classes. With such success as you've already achieved, you are ready to try absolutely anything else, like physical fitness activities, with your head held high. Hey, if you'll give something a try, I'll actually try to get on an elliptical at the gym. I have visions of impaling myself or splatting myself all over the console as I fall off the foot thingies....

18 Jul 11 by member: Sandy701

Flowerdude - You and I are in the same boat. It is OK to start slowly. The key is to start.

18 Jul 11 by member: BuffyBear

Oh I so totally relate. I've been cursed with a red face when I get warm. And I'm talking beat red. So I've held back and didn't put much effort into sports because I didn't want others to tell me how red I was. I love to run but didn't because once again I felt self conscious of my red face. I didn't want to give it up so I got up before the sun and to run in the dark. No one is up that early and if they are....it is too dark to see my red face. I also work out in my basement to DVD's. If you really want to add activity to your life you will find the way. As fairplay said, Just do it!!!!

18 Jul 11 by member: davidsmom

PS - Did I mention that I am a big Klutz? Girls are supposed to be graceful.

18 Jul 11 by member: BuffyBear


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