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I pretty much hate myself right now ... OK maybe I am just massively disappointed in myself. I have been eating like crap for days ... AND I feel like crap because of it ... I was doing sooooo sooooo soooo good since I started in january and in one weekend I just fell apart. why do I do this to myself. I feel like I need to just go to bed and wake up and try to forget it happened. Wake up and get back to my quest.
Here's a confession ... When I am unhappy or stressed out ... I'm a complete binge eater. I have done it for YEARS. I was doing so good and had not had any problems for a month and a half. And i felt better than I had in years. It felt good to eat like a reasonable healthy person. and I just totally lost myself again.
And do you wanna know what is really sad ... the real thing that just pushed me over the edge. My friend asked me to be in her wedding , and when I saw a picture of the dress she wants me to wear , I lost it ! What is wrong with me , that should have motivated me more ... Should have pushed me to try harder and harder. Why did it crush all my hopes ?
Tonight I am praying to wake up tomorrow and get a grip on my life again.
Why oh why oh why Do I do this ???
Diet Calendar Entry for 18 February 2014:
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535 kcal
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Fat: 14.48g | Prot: 33.43g | Carb: 63.30g.
Breakfast: Egg Substitute (Liquid), Bacon. Lunch: Cooked or Sauteed Mature Onions (from Fresh, Fat Added in Cooking), Food Club Great Northern Beans, Cooked Kale (from Fresh). more...
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 Comments
Thank you sooooooo much everyone for all the kind words and support ... I havent given up ... Just got weak for a bit and now I am back at it . In fact I came home from work today and immediatly ( before I changed my mind ) put on my under armour cold gear and popped on the headphones with some motivating tunes and went jogging for a while. And although it was COLD , I feel good that I did it.
Im back and ready to continue fighting my battle ...
19 Feb 14 by member: chryssm
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I feel your pain.. I feel like I self sabotage as well.. Pick yourself up and get going.. Change is now.. Just Remember..After kicks Before's Ass!! When you reach your goal it will all be worth it.. Keep pushing and keep going!! I am going to take my own advice as well.. I'm rooting for you!
19 Feb 14 by member: MARIE M 49
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Have faith and be motivated and positive. You can do it.
19 Feb 14 by member: rthunder032
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Saw this a month ago and it helps (I totally emotionally binge too).
"Progress has little to do with speed, but much to do with direction! So honor every step... no matter how slow."
Pull up the big girl panties (lol) and let's go step by step. You can do it. Your attitude and progress is inspiring. :)
19 Feb 14 by member: cinnabar
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Keep your head on. You can't change what's past, stop beating yourself up, we have all been there, mainly because we are all HUMAN, if we were not our names would be GOD. Don't waste your energy on what you should have done, put in your energy in what you will do. Keep on going, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. Any journey is full of detours and obstables, but if it's worth getting there you will keep moving forward. Best wishes!!
19 Feb 14 by member: maternalone
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