denile's Journal, 11 January 2011

94 days to go!

so last night when i went to bed i felt hungry... laid there for awhile had aniexty tried to talk myself out of my feeling..did amazing when i worked my way threw it.. guess what???? I didnt die! my aniexty went away.. usually i give in bc the aniexty is so horrible and to make it stop i eat.. the calling for what ever food i want is so loud and annoying in my head that just to make it stop i eat... i say to myself i have to eat it all so it will be all over.. hope i dont sound like a nut! i dont think i ever told anyone that.. its kind of like an ocd kind of thing if that makes any sense.. wow that felt good to get that out!
so another amazing thing happened to me today.. @ my work all the ladies ordered my most favorite-est chinese food today.. OMG its soooooooooooooo good.. pork fried rice chicken n broccoli egg roll all for $5!!! well i planned ahead and brought lean cuisine fried chicken fried rice and ordered one fortune cookie!! I actually didnt feel horrible! again I didnt die! and it was all good.. but did I mention their crispy noodles! yeah they laid on the desk trying to call my name but nope! they only thing that crossed my mind was that it wasnt crossing my mind! and the only thing I thought was how great I did today!
this morning I weighted myself and I lost a pound.. I got up took scooby for his walk.. he loves it <3 its not a long walk bc he needs to start slow but its better than nothing! I like it in the morning bc nobody is out its still dark and i dont have to put him on his leash! i actually dont mind the cold it wakes me up! i've been in a better mood and have made it to work early the past two days that i've done this... hope i can keep it up
that reminds me.. sometimes i can go over kill and do to much then just give up! i need to find a balance with this... right now i am focusing on eating right then i will pick up with the exercise.. before i was working out and not watching what i eat.. the challenges are helping... biggest loser is a motivation! i went out and bought the biggest loser for wii!i plan on doing it tomorrow.. probably wont get to the gym until saturday w/ this weather but its ok bc i need to get this eating right and the fact that i'm "coming off of" sugar yes I do that to myself too... highs and lows of sugar.. a high is like your heart is racing and you have crazy energy then you crash into a calm tired lethargic state... it just doesnt register with me the harm that i do to myself..
hooking up the wii now! yeah! and the crunch challenge is great too btw.. on the right track!!!!

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1115 kcal

Fat: 29.25g | Prot: 60.00g | Carb: 155.50g.   Breakfast: quaker oat meal lower sugar. Lunch: fortune cookie, lean cuisine chicken fried rice. Dinner: green giant creamed spinach. Snacks/Other: sun chips, v8 juice, chobani pomegrante greek yogurt, babybel light,  cocoa almonds. more...