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I apologize for all of my depressing journal entries lately. I am just going through some down time I suppose. I've noticed that my caloric intake has been fairly low and I attribute this mostly to stress and depression. Unfortunately my motivation to exercise is also low. I am going to start focusing on the positive. The first "positive" is...there are more jobs out there. I may have to change careers mid-life. I may have to return to college for a new skill set. But, a career can be changed. I have been in the same line of work for a decade now. There have been highs and lows. But, I can definitely state that the last three years have been on the low end side. So, it is up to me to change that.
I received my new Zumba DVDs yesterday. And, after a half hour of becoming frustrated with trying to hook the DVD player to the television (Note: Becoming an electrician or technician is clearly not the career I need to look into), I managed to hook everything up so that I could jiggle to Zumba for 20 minutes before I left for work today. I had to force myself to start it. But, once I completed my "Rush" Zumba, I did a little stronger both mentally and physically.
There are two months left in the year (roughly). I do have vacation to look forward to immediately after Christmas. I know I cannot start a new job until after I return from vacation. I'm not even sure that I can easily find a new job at all. But, I am going to try to think up some backup plans. For instance, I've always loved learning foreign languages. Granted, I am completely rusty in French and German. Perhaps I will take a Spanish class at the local community college in the evenings after work. If I am thinking about my class, it might be a nice distraction from my day job. And, if I take enough classes and have to wait long enough before finding a new career/job, perhaps I will become bilingual which could only add to my employ-ability. I've considered going back to college for a Masters in Teaching so that I can gain teachers certification. I really enjoy working with teenagers. And, I think that is something I would be passionate about. I have lost passion for my current career I believe. Lately I have also thought much about going back into the military. Until my weight can drop down to at least the 150-160 lb. range though, I don't believe they would even consider me. Perhaps if nothing is on the horizon and I feel as dissatisfied in my career in March, I will be in position to seek out a military commission.
Anyway...My diet plans for today include getting my calories back up to a decent intake. I need at least 1000 calories today. I do not want to send myself into "starvation mode" only to start banking fat. Before August, I probably would have spent emotional times like this stuffing my face so that my belly felt full and I at least momentarily felt comfort. But, I find that I nearly have an aversion to food at the moment. I know this isn't particularly a good thing. I need to get right with myself...physically and emotionally.
Diet Calendar Entries for 17 October 2013:
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912 kcal
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Fat: 18.46g | Prot: 90.01g | Carb: 101.62g.
Breakfast: Milk (Nonfat), General Mills Cheerios. Lunch: Subway Provolone Cheese, Subway 6" Subway Club. Dinner: Unsweetened Iced Tea, Truvia Sweetener, Herdez Medium Salsa, Ground Turkey Breast 98% Fat Free, Kraft Natural Shredded Fat Free Cheddar Cheese, Lettuce, Old El Paso Yellow Corn Stand 'n Stuff Taco Shells. more...
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2396 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 23 hours and 40 minutes. more...
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