kingkeld's Journal, 20 February 2013

Good morning!

Yesterday went really well, in a way.

(Before I continue, I'd like to make sure that those of you who may not know me understand that the goals I set for myself yesterday were ridiculous, and that this long-term is not a proper way to lose weight. )

Anyways...

Yesterday I was really mad at myself for letting my diet go down the drain Monday. I wanted to compensate and (in my own head) redeem myself. My mission was to simply burn a LOT of calories, and as Wife wanted to go to work early, I thought it would be a good day for a walk. I had no gym, had HOURS to spare, so I just went for it.

I have downloaded a pedometer app for my phone, and this is probably what I'll be using until the Fitbix Flex or the Misfit Shine comes out. I don't really like the phone as a pedometer, as I tend to have it sitting on my desk at work, and it doesn't count everything.

Anyways, I went walking at 5:18 yesterday morning, basically detouring my route going to work. By a lot. When I arrived at work, I clocked in just above 13,000 steps!

Wanting to compensate further, I had only had one egg for breakfast. 82 calories. It was fine, I wasn't hungry, and I was good to go.

Well, lunch came, no hunger. No urge to eat. The same happened at dinner. each of those meals I did have a little bouillon thingy, about 8 calories.

This is all I had yesterday. I was literally under 100 calories. This is - obviously - not something to do every day. But I really had no hunger, and I don't really have it today either. I did not wake up "starving", or even really hungry. But understanding that I'm going to the gym in about an hour from now, I chose to eat a little. I had one egg, and rye bread with ham as always.

Now, about my calorie burn yesterday. This is really where my challenge came in. I saw that I was at a pretty high burn, because of the walk. I'd burn more while standing up at work all day, walking to teach the kids, walking back, etc.

I set a goal to be ABOVE 4100 calories yesterday. I wanted to have a 4000 calorie deficit. This is not TOO easy for me, at my normal activity level, and with my weight and RDI considered. Normally I'm going for 1000-1500 deficit, and 4000 would be ridiculous. However, since I wasn't really eating, I spotted a chance to try it out, and I did it!

Again, not something I'm motivated to do day in and day out. But yesterday was fun.

I will say, however, that I'm happy being back to normal routine again. I know I have compensated for my Monday shenanigans, and I feel great about it. That was my real goal, and that is accomplished. I feel that I DO have a chance to reach a new low for Saturday. Bring it on!

Of course, there is still some way to go. Today I clock in at 91.9 kilos, so I need to be down another 5 lbs to reach a new low. I only dropped about 1 lbs today, and I would actually have thought I'd have dropped more, after yesterday. But as we all know, our actions and the way it reflects the scale doesn't always make sense from day to day. Hopefully it'll show up later.

The main thing is that I feel good about what I am doing. I know I'm doing good, and I know I'm doing right. This is the feeling I want. And of course the feeling of losing the damn weight. lol.

So today is gym day. Daughter is - hopefully - coming with me again. I don't think I scared her away Monday.

She actually did pretty good, considering that she hasn't done ANY workouts in eons. She went, I introduced her to all the circuit training machines, she went two full rounds with only one little break for water (45 seconds)and worked to somewhere close to her max for right now.

Of course, she didn't go all out. I don't think ANYONE does the first times. That's fine. Main thing is that she is moving a little bit.

I am not even sure I do all out. Actually, thinking of it, I am sure I don't. But I do go pretty hard all the time. I make sure it's no walk in the park. But could I up a machine here or there? Probably. Those are the next ones to up. I think there will always be some that can be done better, right?

I will say that I'm pretty proud of my progress on the machines. I started with a general level 4 weight for arms (the amount of weight varies from machine to machine) and 6 for my legs. Now, I'm at 7 or more on every machine, and 3 are at level 10 and one at level 11. This is accomplished in 6 weeks, I believe. This is what going 4 times per week has given me.

I notice that I slouch less. I notice that my chest muscles are a lot tighter. I especially see this when I wake up in the morning, and get out of bed. I think this is when I'm the least conscious of posture and how I feel. I just zombie my way through the first minutes. But I have actually caught myself walking with a more straight back, and feeling a lot stronger than I did not long ago. It's an awesome feeling.

Today, I think it's a reasonable day at work. I have a few special projects to do, and I'm looking forward to it. I need to go check some settings in ALL the coworkers' computers, to make sure they're set up right. This means I will be visiting all of them. :) I like that.

Yesterday, I had a kind of sad experience. I talked to a girl with severe back problems. She was in a lot of pain. The pains that I had years back. She also weighs 300+ lbs, from my estimation. I tried to explain to her that losing the weight can only help. It was pretty clear in her mind that she firmly believed (having convinced herself, probably) that the ONLY possible way for her to lose weight would be exercise, and this was not an option because of her bad back. I tried to explain to her that the calorie intake would be where she could really make a difference. I also tried to get her to see that this could massively improve her life quality. I offered to help, I offered to mentor. But it was clear that she was set in her mind that exercise would be the only solution.

I think she's essentially given up on the whole thing. Obviously, she DOES want to lose weight. She DOES want to not be in (as much) pain. But I'm guessing that trials and mostly errs has gotten her to this conclusion. So, she won't try again.

Sometimes I come across people like this. I just want to grab hold of them, and keep at 'em until they realize what I'm telling them. Until they realize that they CAN in fact lose the weight, and be if not pain free, then with significantly less pain. I have been there. I know what pain is like. I know what it feels like to not sleep at night because of back pains.

Where are they now? Gone. 95% gone. At least.

I also know, that it's a wasted effort. I know that when you're not ready to listen, you're not ready to listen. Hell, if someone had brought me that message when I was at 155 kgs, I wouldn't have listened either.

So sad.

Anyways, I hope she'll have my words rummaging a little, and that she'll come around or take steps on her own. I gave her plenty of info to begin with, in very simple terms, so if she decides to do something, then she can.

Today, I'm thankful for:
- MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! 4000 calorie deficit yesterday! Boy, am I glad I'm not aiming for that again today. lol.
- Gym in 50 minutes! go go go!
- A nice day at working today - I hope. :)

Happy Wednesday! Life is good!

EDIT:
I really wanted to put this in my journal, but I forgot: Another reason for my crazy antics yesterday was that I felt a need to shake up my perception of hunger. I have had so many little meals - but within RDI - the last few weeks that I felt that I "forgot" how it feels to be hungry. I don't want to eat just because "it's time to eat" or because "I think I'm gonna be hungry". I want to eat WHEN I am hungry, and then eat within reason. That should be accomplishable, shouldn't it? So, by having a 100 calorie day, I really got a feeling of it - what whaddaya know? I was never - at all - hungry. Not even this morning waking up. I had my breakfast because I was gonna go work out. The workout was harder than usual, probably because I didn't have a lot of energy for it, but I did it. Daughter was a real sport about it too!
END OF EDIT.
202.6 lb Lost so far: 139.1 lb.    Still to go: 15.2 lb.    Diet followed 100%.
on diet kingkeld's own diet  

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Comments 
Great journal, congrats on achieving yesterday's goal, it gave me a good chuckle thinking about trying to hit that kind of calorie deficit every day - ha! Fun to think you did it though! I need to become a more mindful eater, but if I don't stick to some sort of meal routine, the hunger hits me in full force out of the blue and I get super crabby and then eat stupid things! :) About the girl with the back problems, I feel the exact same way about just wanting to shake some people, but you are right, they won't even hear it until they are really ready... 
19 Feb 13 by member: erika2633
WOW Keld.... Well done, you were certainly on a tough mission. Funny how, once we put our minds to something, we CAN do it. It just takes lots of guts, determination and focus. Sad about the girl, but you are right, until she is ready to 'go for it', you are wasting your breath. Hopefully she will have your words 'rumbling' about in her head and eventually, do something about it. Have a great day .... Glad your daughter is keeping you company at the gym... Just needs DW to do the same now :-) 
20 Feb 13 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
DW doesn't have the option to go when I go. She's at work. :/ She does get plenty of exercise and movement doing her job though. She's in no way still... 
20 Feb 13 by member: kingkeld
I wish we could help everyone too. I think it is hard for people to understand most of your weight loss starts in the kitchen. Won't matter how hard you work if you don't properly fuel your body. Hope this woman has a change of heart. 
20 Feb 13 by member: iamachristianjesusfreak

     
 

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