366to266's Journal, 20 January 2013

I feel so ashamed. I went completely off the rails yesterday.

I got weighed, and found I had GAINED 4lb depsite being fairly good on my diet.

Later something inside me snapped and I went berserk. Darted to local shop and bought two family sized bags of crisps, mars Bar and a Bounty bar. Stuffed down the lot. Halfway through the second bag of crisps I came to my senses and threw the rest in the bin.

I should have thrown them away loose because this morning I fished them out of the bin and ate them.

I then RUINED today as well by eatinga massive plateful of friend potatoes!

Oh woe is me! What have I done? I've already eaten TWICE my calories for today and it's only 4pm.

What do I do it? I was doing SO WELL!

All I can say is, there are now no potatoes in the house. I bought them for someone else on Tuesday and I should have thrown them in the trash on Thursday. What a stupid error.

My shop binge proves I am still not safe to be let out alone. I'm so sorry for what I did, because it hasnt done anything positive for me. All I can do is learn that lesson.

To compound matters, I did not go to the pool today.

I feel terrible: ashamed, and like I have let myself down :-(


Diet Calendar Entry for 20 January 2013:
3465 kcal Fat: 249.53g | Prot: 130.26g | Carb: 172.77g.   Breakfast: Potato Chips, kielbasa, cabbage soup. Lunch: cod, lard, french fries. Dinner: kielbasa. more...

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aww, I want to give you a huge hug! I did what you did last week, and the week before, and the year before! your soooo not alone. I can't have ANY potential binge foods in my house. a bag of chips is even too hard for me. I guess that is why I live alone now. I sure wish I had another dieting room mate. anyways, just know, you can do it! I know a bad weigh in triggers me also, hugs and don't give up or beat your self up. I sent you a buddy request 
20 Jan 13 by member: Lizzygracemusic
You have been doing well - and can choose to continue or quit. One day does not a lifetime make. Keep writing and journaling so you can identity each emotion and step that you felt - even as you dug garbage out of a trashbin. Then return to each paragraph and develop a better plan for 'next time.' You can do this. I have faith in you. Bella 
20 Jan 13 by member: FullaBella
Thank you Lizzie and Bella. I did not know that anyone could read my journal, but I am really GLAD that you can. I did not quit. I lost 4 lb despite the binge. I MUST keep on with the diet. I have now changed my diet and I am searching to find how to change it on my profile. 
22 Jan 13 by member: 366to266

     
 

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