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Wednesday morning.
happy new Year everyone! I wish you all the best, everything you need, you want, and much more!
It's been the sadest and most depressing holiday ever for me. I really felt alone and had nothing to look forward to. The truth is, Thomas called me on Christmas day and said he was thinking of me, asked me what I was doing, told me he was sad and lonely. After 3 days crying my eyes out, I called him back to beg him to leave me alone for good, not contact me anymore because it was too hard. I said it, he repeated he was thinking of me and then I found myself offering him to meet for a coffee... He is so depressed and lost it's scary. He admitted that it had never happened to him before. So we talked a little bit, hugged, kissed and finally slept together. And here I am now, stupid stupid stupid... Back to square one, not able to think about anything else, not knowing if we can make it work or if it was just a goodbye sex.
Since my last journal I have been exercising, eating as well as possible (a couple of days without food, due to above mentioned sadness though).
My work at the clinic is going very well, I was given a few tips to improve my technique by the owner of the centre, she is a therapist for 15 years and she is amazing. I'm feeling more confident everyday, people give me huge tips and I think, even if I'm still far from being a therapist, that I'm doing a good job.
I have no idea what's going to happen, at work, in my personal life, I am totally lost and it's a strange way to start the year. May I see the light soon!
Have a great day, I've been thinking about you buddies very often!
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