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Thanks Buddies for your comments on the last journal regarding my impending meeting with my boss. When I arrived, I paged my boss. She said, "Hi Deb, I'm really busy...what do you want?"
I said, "well considering our last conversation, I am wanting to get our talk out of the way." She said, "I'm too busy right now, and I haven't had enough time to look at security cameras. So, I don't want you worried and upset and I will look into it later."
Two of my peer managers went to her on my behalf telling her the truth about how I correctly managed the situation she'd asked to be handled. They each told me that she'd been out of line, how she'd made a big stink in my absence about nothing to do with me, all the while assigning me the blame.
This has lead me down the path of wondering just what a person must endure in order to take a leave of absence based on stress! I'm telling you, I just can't take this unkindly result of my much beloved work!
In management, I talk to people, work out a plan to help them overcome obstacles, and get them resolved before they escalate. The members are happy to talk with me and move forward. I look at what is good and move forward and take the focus away from bad behavior. I don't talk to my boss about these things because in my opinion, that's what I'm supposed to do! Fix what is wrong so the boss doesn't have to!
I understand that many in my position run to the boss as suck ups and tell the boss every little thing that's going wrong and how they plan or fixed things. To me this is such a stupid way of dealing with things. I run a good business. The people I work with are not afraid of me. They tell me EVERYTHING and in short order. We work it out!
The suck-ups that run to the boss all the time and expect a pat on the back for doing what I do ALL THE TIME (but they're punitive) are the ones that get all the lavish attention. I get results by laying out a seriously good plan that members can attain while feeling cared about.
I just appreciate you guys and your understanding in reading this messed up message. I really do. Thanks for your comments and support and I promise a good deal of better journals ahead!
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 Comments
Deb - my thoughts are she knows she was wrong but rather than having the maturity and professionalism to apologize she wants to avoid it all together. If you don't feel taking the issue to HR would yield a resolve perhaps you could write down your recollection of your phone conversation that morning and add your follow up questions for her that you'd have asked yesterday if she hadn't brushed you off. That way if she does come back later at a random time hoping to catch you off guard - she (won't). Put the list away so you know where it is but otherwise consider it 'fine's and just another example of grownups walking amongst us carrying immature emotional control.
22 Dec 12 by member: FullaBella
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I agree with FB, she had enough time to call you and blame you but she doesn't have the time to apologize for being wrong. And also on the documentation process. It is important to track what happenned and who can back you up. If she doesn't apologize that means she isn't taking responsibility for her mistake and this might happen again as she might have some resentment for looking bad in front of her peers and she might take it out on you. I thought I had some bad bosses in the past but she takes the cake. You are so dedicated to your job and take such pride in doing it right, I feel so bad that this had to happen to you.
22 Dec 12 by member: fatoldlady
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I agree! I document a lot, with my kiddo's, their parents, even my boss. That way if/when something happens I have the past written and dated to show what happened from my perspective. I have a great boss now and the one I had before was okay. I'm sorry this happened to you. I bet she was getting some heat from somewhere else and was looking for someone to blame. People like that need to get on their big britches and deal with it! Have a great Saturday Deb!
22 Dec 12 by member: skwhite
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You guys are the best friends to have in the whole internet world! Thank you not only for your well thought-out messages, but for the wisdom of your experience, and the care it took to write. You guys are in my heart and prayers daily!
22 Dec 12 by member: philanddeb
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I've just now caught up with your journal. I'm so sorry your boss's tirade was the beginning of your mini-vacation! You had every right to speak with her first thing when you returned and she should have at least allowed you that opportunity, even if she thought she wasn't fully prepared. I completely agree with the others about taking the time to document the facts even if this incident seemingly blows over. The way you said you approach your job is outstanding and, I, for one, would thank my lucky stars if I were to be the boss of someone with similar work ethics. Hang in there. Have a Merry Christmas.
23 Dec 12 by member: Sandy701
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