156feathers's Journal, 07 November 2012

I've never written a journal entry on my previous accounts on any website, Fatsecret in particular. I'm typing this entry to document my feelings of utter sadness and disappointment. I've battled with my weight since birth and I've never reached a normal weight on a healthy basis. I've battled with a non-clinically specified eating disorder and major insecurity issues.

At this strenuous time of my life, I'm forced to take action. Being a college student, I'm prone to nervous breakdowns and feeling like a wall is constantly closing in on my life (note the drama). It seems as though I'm losing control in every decision I'm forced to make and I am out of outlets. I'm rejoining Fatsecret tonight not only to lose some weight and regain at least a parcel of confidence. I've decided to reembark on the journey to a healthier lifestyle where I actually have energy throughout the day to study, relax, and to just let go of everything stress related.

I'm making a commitment not only to myself but to God. Throughout these past couple of months, I've just been a whirlwind of confusion on my ethical beliefs. I need structure in my life. I feel as though I don't even know myself anymore. I need something or someone to give me that little push I need. Feeling sorry for myself is just not going to cut it anymore. I need to work hard for something for once in my life. I'm ready to let go and let God.

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It will be a long road head. Just gotta have discipline and patience. Don't think to muh or negotiate with yourself too much. Just do it. 
07 Nov 12 by member: Sokhim
Dear Feathers, you are making a very important decision to take control of your life and this is a very important step. I am also on this site to learn how to exercise control. Regardless of the reasons you feel helpless, you can make improvements in how you feel by modifying your diet and chosing right types of excersise like yoga, martial arts, or just by doing things that bring joy into life - dancing, walking, whatever makes you happy. You cannot change the reality but you can change how you feel, you can change your own reaction and responce. It is a long road and you will have your ups and downs, but if you keep going you will experience feeling of control and happiness as well. You can do it. 
07 Nov 12 by member: Ingria

     
 

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