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What the hell am I doing??? I have lost more weight than I have in years and for the last week I have not been able to stay in control. The first few days I didn't do too bad but the last 3...crap.
I know I can do this I just need to regain my control and enthusiasm. School will be out Monday and I won't have to drive the bus. I can go see my kids and grandkids more and go to the pool earlier. I just have to get in gear again.
I started attending TOPS meetings a few weeks ago. I don't want to be one who keeps gaining and losing the same weight every couple of weeks so I know I have to get it together.
Tomorrow I start again. This time more water and try to remember to take my vitamins, prepare foods ahead of time and maybe go buy a grill and some charcoal. Vegetables have been a problem so maybe a little more variety so I don't get burnt out.
Less talking to myself and more talking to other people might help. It is probably not a good sign when first you talk to yourself and then talk to yourself in a journal. Wish I could think of something profound to tell myself. My favorite saying lately has been Mind Over Mood. Guess I'll try to remember that.
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 Comments
"what!... am I doing?!" Hello Juanab, your journal entry was the first thing I saw when I logged in tonight,
being in similar mood that you are right now. After more than two months of logging every portion of food that I ate and staying a relatively steady low slide in weight loss, today I ate...and overate...heavy foods for supper, and wondering how far I reversed that slide. Even though Ispent the whole afternoon with people I love (shopping, but not for me) I am journaling here moaning about what I ate when I
finally got home, how silly is that. This is most likely to happens when I do not eat on time and fix something that's "fast and filling and tasty", full of starch, fat, and carbs (pasta and pizza) . I do not even want to look at a scale for many days. I think there is hope for both of us. Sounds like you have a good grip on what you need to do to get back on that slide and keep swooshing down the scale. Also, your calorie output (exercise, etc.) sure is high, so that's good for you. Fortunately, you have your two beautiful daughters to talk with, and your grandchildren to distract your attention from food. Make the most of those advantages. You sure sound ambitious to me, working a full time desk job and also driving the school bus. Do you think that "end of the season" for the bus-driving job triggered your
negative feelings today? Loss of some income and also that part of your routine. You have good plans
for yourself....going to the pool, seeing the kids & grandkids, talking with your friends at TOPS. With all
that going for you, you are going to lose some more weight and keep it off forever.
14 May 10 by member: Millimarie
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Hi Juanab: I guess I've always "written myself out" but I do think that putting fingers to keyboard (in my day, it was pen to paper) helps to get things out in the open, and clarify issues. So yes, do verbalise which ever way you feel works. We're all here for you.
15 May 10 by member: Ruby_Jewell
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I had no idea you have done so wonderfully! Congratulations! Self sobotage visits me often and you're absolutely right...it's a self control thing and a mood thing. Don't give up your great progress...keep your head in the game!
15 May 10 by member: kimbulie
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Tomorrow is the PERFECT time to get back to business! Your chart is looking good - let's keep that trend going! You can do it!
15 May 10 by member: amryk
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Keep hanging in there! :)
16 May 10 by member: mbhpro
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Hello! Love having so many new friends and happy to include you as one! looks to me like you have a good understanding of everything you need to do to succeed! It's an adjustment to be sure,but,soooo worth it! Stick with it and soon it will just be a way of life and easy to do!!
27 May 10 by member: candyann
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