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Ok it's not a secret and anyone who reads my stuff on here knows I'm slightly obsessive over all things losing weight. I subscribe to fitness blogs, have 10 different apps on my phone, read diet and exercise books, listen to fitness podcasts.. Basically if I obsess then I seem to make progress because I'm too busy obsessing about the macros of a cake to eat the cake.. Ok it doesn't always work with cake but sometimes it does.
In hopes of seeing a weight loss before mid July I'm obsessing. Counting every calorie, workout, oz of water.. and reading everything I can get my hands on. Like the fitnesspal emails on diet and exercise. And then I come across advice that makes me want chuck sporks at someones head and scream WHY?!!?!?!?! because they look like they might be 100 lbs sopping wet.. are probably 12 yrs old.. and should not be giving advice on "Unusual ways to avoid cravings." Seriously... unless you have considered shoving your entire face into a chocolate cake or a pizza then you do not understand cravings.
Tip 1.. Breath: If I breath.. and the craving is right there in front of me. I will smell it. Making me want to have it even more. A more reasonable tip would be hold your breath until you pass out. By the time you wake up you will probably no longer want the craving because your head will hurt where you hit it when you fell.
Tip 2.. Think Logically: If I could think logically would I seriously be considering shoving my entire face into a cake? No. Obviously thinking logically is not a strong skill. Think illogically. Pretend the smelly guy in the office made the cake.. or the kids helped you and didn't wash their hands.. and they just came from the barn. That might help. MAYBE.
Tip 3.. Play a game: Because playing tetris and getting aggravated that the darn bits won't go to where they are supposed to be is going to relax me and no longer crave cake.. or I will chuck my phone so I can use both hands to eat the freakin cake.
Tip 4.. Time your meals strategically: Uhh yeah.. I did that. And then I had a craving and everything went to heck in a handbasket. What does strategic meal plans have to do with wanting to shove an entire candy bar in my mouth at once. I'm not hungry.. it's a craving for petes sake.
Tip 5.. Create nutrition audibles Like a quarterback in a game have an alternative plan when the original plan fails. How does the title of this tip have anything to do with plans? Audible.. audio.. is a plan? This is just too dumb for words. Lets call it.. have an alternative plan. Which would be GREAT. If I was organized and had a plan in the first place.
Tip 6.. Eat the craving daily... WTF?? Seriously W T F?? That's what got me into this situation in the first place!!!!
I got better advice from my bottle of kombucha this morning. "When setting goals, count any movement towards it as a measure of success; even the smallest step." Jonna Templar
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 Comments
You are hilarious. Have you ever thought about stand up comedy. I'm really serious....On another note. The only way I have ever stopped having cravings is by going as low carb as possible. The cravings stopped. No cheat meals, because sugar is a drug and I would need a bigger and better fix.
07 Jun 17 by member: 2426girl
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I don't know, this seems a little harsh. I don't know if those are bad tips so much as too oversimplified 'what to do', without enough detailed 'how to do it' aspects.
1. Breathing does help for me... in the context of I actually get into a mudra and do kundalini meditation and breathwork, which tends to even out my emotions in general, not just with cravings but with work stress, personal hurt feelings, etc.
2. Thinking logically does help for me... but that was a process, developing a set physical triggers (like wearing rubberbands around my wrist and snapping them) by using them when experiencing the awful physical/emotional feelings after a binge, then using them again when craving to remind myself of what the actual full experience and consequences will be if I give in.
3. Playing games does help for me... because I'll pick one I know I'm good enough at or is structured such that it will eat a lot of time and, before I know it, even if I'm still craving; I've killed enough time absorbed in it that there's something else/somewhere else I have to be.
4. I admit, I don't time/schedule my meals at all. I'm really inconsistent with when I eat. Still, its advice that I've known enough dieters to say works for them that I'm hard-pressed to believe that's just selection bias and they all have never had a 'real craving' rather than that it is a possible tool that people can make work for them.
5. That is weirdly phrased as all get out lol but, though I could be wrong, my take away is definitely have alternatives too. Like, for me, I always have easy-prep salads with of negligible-calorie ingredients that I drown in really strong negligible-calorie vinegars and really intense spices. Eating those when I'm craving A: takes up some time, B: is so high in fiber and acidity that my stomach really can't handle consuming anything else afterwards, and C: really saturates my tastebuds with really strong tart/spicy flavors that make most of my cravings unlikely to be enjoyed. I'm not naturally organized either, nicknamed 'nutty professor' for the sate of my desk in school when I was a kid, have always hated planning ahead and greatly prefer to just live more in-the-moment/impulsively and such, but organizational skills can be developed through researching structured tools and practice; I know I had to to survive college and start actually having some career loyalty/success.
6. This actually worked pretty much just as stated for me. I ERASED my buffalo-wing craving by just sheer aversion-therapy style spending a week eating nothing but until I went from "This is the only thing I truly want to spend my time doing" to "The smell of buffalo sauce makes me want to barf." I gained like 5lbs that week and it may be debatable how healthy a solution it really was (I may have been throwing up uncomfortable frequently before the week was up) lol, but it did get rid of my most dangerous/strongest craving/binge food issue.
Just my two cents. I do really like that kombucha quote though!
07 Jun 17 by member: Christi_S
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omfg I'm so sorry for the wall of text >_< I'm new here and didn't realize comments didn't render formatting like paragraph breaks >_<
07 Jun 17 by member: Christi_S
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@ Haaaaa ha ha ha ha!!!! Kombucha rules!
Only if you are thirsty or in need of some gut flora which I accept is then a better choice than philosophy... ;)
07 Jun 17 by member: misterbee
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09 Jun 17 by member: Rubie-sue
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