Congratulations on the new and better paying job. I'm sorry to hear of the marriage difficulties but also have been there and done that years ago, it happens and we get through it. The best advice I received was to legally treat the divorce as a business transaction and leave the angst / emotions out of that part...the only thing I was willing to fight about was the kids, we agreed to joint custody, and got through the divorce without a battle, split things equally with minimal cost financially and emotionally. And we left the kids out of our battles. I hope it all works out for you as best possible.
12 Jul 17 by member: jmb3450
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Yes, congratulations on the new job that is better paying. Not crazy about the hours, but that's part of the package, eh? Sorry to hear about your marriage. It's a rough ride even if you keep your feet and hands in the ride at all times. I agree with Jmb3450 keeping it like a business transaction and always agree to work things out for the children. I wish you well friend!
12 Jul 17 by member: Horseshu1
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I don't have any advice, I haven't walked in your boots, but living as roommates instead of a couple would make me want more and seek changes. Take care and enjoy your vacation with your friends and family. You will find your way including a new username or not.
12 Jul 17 by member: ginger dog
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Good luck! I've been there and am still there and it's a rough ride, but sometimes it's what's needed for better emotional health for all involved. 🤷🏻♀️Just make sure your kids know you both still love them and this in no way reflects on them. You'll have challenges, but every family does! 🙋🏻Good luck!
13 Jul 17 by member: smprowett
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Congrats on the job. When I divorced it wasn't so bad as we didn't have kids. I remember being so lonely that I could have gone back to him - he was passive in it all and would have been happy to have me back - but I knew I'd only leave again. Keep firm - if you're sure that a divorce is what you want, it'll be better for the children in the long run. Good luck
13 Jul 17 by member: minitata
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Congrats and commiserations - don't they often go hand-in-hand? I am a dozen years divorced and I describe myself as 'very happily divorced' because I still am after all these years. The freedom and sense of peace it brought were amazing and filled me with a sense of my own worth, having had that ground down over a number of years. Luckily I don't have children (mix of choice and circumstance) so I didn't have that worry, but your children will see how making the right choice, no matter how hard and heartrending, is the brave and wise thing to do as the alternative is soul-sapping. Well done for having the courage to recognise that the position you were in wasn't right and for doing something about it. We're all with you DFW, bring on the roller coaster xx
13 Jul 17 by member: StrangeTrout
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WOWSER HUGE CHANGES! Very exciting and scary times ahead - a roller coaster indeed, but well done for taking the cow by the horns (mixing my metaphors all over the place!) and moving on! I'm sure a great new future awaits, I look forward to following your journey (in a totally non stalkery way) well done on the new you and new job, 60hrs yikes! you'll have no time to eat! ;-)
13 Jul 17 by member: Tatmummy
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Good for you - Best of luck with the changes
13 Jul 17 by member: Adpully
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13 Jul 17 by member: r4chy
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A job change is hard and divorce is hard. I know, I've done both. Just remember to think about your kids and let them know that they are loved by you and your soon to be ex. Here's to exciting things to come and best of luck to you!
13 Jul 17 by member: mickfan1
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I can't add to what everyone else has said so I'm sending luck, thoughts and best wishes. Take care of yourself, your kids and, believe it or not, your soon-to-be-ex. You'll all need support but you'll all get through it. 🤗
14 Jul 17 by member: Phooka
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14 Jul 17 by member: MightyFull
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Ah geez..... I know we are supposed to be all supportive here and everything but damn I just hate this for you. Congrats on the job. But, ya know...relationships sort of go through cycles through the years. This is my second marriage and it has had some of the most shitty moments that I never deserved. I spent a decade single between my first and second marriage. A decade as a single mom. The grass just isn't always greener. It's your life and I truly wish you the best of luck. I just know that sometimes things that are broken can be fixed.
14 Jul 17 by member: 2ManyCurves
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Sorry to hear about the divorce- it's sad stuff. This time of life raising little people is exhausting and it is hard to stay connected to your spouse. Most days it's like two ships passing in the night- but this is temporary. I look forward to the days when these little people are grown, our job is done and my husband and I can have time for each other again. Who better to grow old with than the person who has a forever connection with you and your kids?? I know it's not the popular view- the world tells us "do what feels good- you deserve to be happy".
The reality is life and marriage are hard work no matter what. The grass is not greener- it's harder.
I hope you can find ways to make the relationship work! Love and prayers!
14 Jul 17 by member: Mickidoodle
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Wow, congratulations on the new job! And on taking charge to make sure you're living the best life for you. Going to be rough, but if you're happy and the kids are good....then all good.
14 Jul 17 by member: Rubie-sue
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Change is inevitable in life- best wishes!
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Best wishes to you DFW. I imagine you feel relieved to have made the decision. Maybe you could tweak your name to DairyFarmersExWife??? :p And WOW at finding your new job which entails being gorgeous at all times ;) Dramatic and exciting times ahead and I applaud you. Go girl!!!! xXx
15 Jul 17 by member: Rindaloo
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Congratulations on the job - you have been unhappy for a while and deserve better. Sorry about the marriage, but unfortunately you have been unhappy for a while there too, and as I said before - you deserve better. If you can both stay amicable and put the kids first it shouldn't be too bad. My ex and I did just that. We are better now than we ever were married. I wish you luck.
16 Jul 17 by member: Bethlauren8
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