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RoseFlorida's Journal

 
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21 November 2022

I didn't eat all the carbs. I skipped eating until 11 pm and then made a few slices of bacon along with copious amounts of coffee. Coffee is life blood to a former Jersey girl. I'm a lot more calm today. Still crying but not as much. I am still heartbroken. I don't know about his service yet. When or where. It will take a few days to find out.
I have to get healthier. I can't let this be me. Diabetes runs in my family. I don't have it yet. Heart disease runs in my family. I don't have it yet. If I don't do something now this could be me. I can't do this to my family. I have to make better choices so it doesn't. For goodness sake my uncle was 2 years younger than my hubby is. My mom was the oldest of 6, my uncle was the youngest. I was close to my uncle because we were so close in age. Memories keep floating throughout my head. Time to clean, the only time I don't mind cleaning is when I'm sick or upset. No curling up in a ball for any longer. It's not good for me and doesn't help anyone else either. For a few hours it helped me but not anymore. Now I just have a puffy face and puffy, red eyes.
Weigh-in: 249.4 lb lost so far: 43.7 lb still to go: 134.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) steady weight

20 November 2022

I am heartbroken. My Uncle died this morning. He's been feeling off for a few days and had trouble with his blood sugar. I still don't know why except it probably had something to do with his diabetes. We called and texted every few weeks. He is my favorite uncle. He was planning to move to another state soon and we were making plans to see each other before he moved. He was sending pics of houses to see. I don't know what will happen to his young daughter. (Long story, I hope and pray the mother doesn't get here) I want to cry and eat all the carbs. I can't, I won't. I can't let this happen to me with my health. I'm drowning and can't even imagine how his kids feel. Is it acceptable to crawl into a ball and cry and cry more? Hubby is heartbroken. MY uncle was friends with him. Hubby is 2 years older than him. I was closer in age to him than his sister (my mom) 3 family members called me to let me know including my little cuz (oldest son, 27) I don't know how to help across the state. Trying not to stress/comfort eat.

20 November 2022

Slight bump up again. Oh well, I'm sticking with my woe but started slipping on the water. I will bring it back up. I know better. Weight loss can be a roller coaster with ups and downs. As long as I trend down more than up it's all good. Looking at weight loss as a straight downward decline would be great but it's not realistic. I will slip, I will bump up, I will plateau. I will follow my woe and continue and will get there in the end. I want to be healthier not just smaller.
This week will be insane for a lot of people, not just me. I started the deep clean of the house today. I hate cleaning but keep up the everyday stuff. Deep cleaning is not fun though. I'm glad some people like it but not me. I'm prepping all my pots and pans. Making sure I have enough to cook everything I want. Some of it is still packed away in the garage. Finally time to pull it all out. I'm hoping to find my pie plates so I can cancel the ones I added to grocery pickup. Apple pie made with premade dough and canned pie stuffing. I'll jazz it up a bit with some spices like cinnamon and semi-homemade pie done. I might do a crumble topping instead of dough. I need to find a few apple bushels to can some up for next year. They make awesome gifts too. My canning has taken a hit this year since no garden and moving. I should be able to can up some turkey bone broth though after Thanksgiving and make some soup that I be able to can also. I love seeing homemade ready to eat soups that are on my woe. Days I don't feel like cooking (yes it happens to me, someone who loves cooking) it's a great thing to have on hand.
Weigh-in: 249.4 lb lost so far: 43.7 lb still to go: 134.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment gaining 1.4 lb a week

19 November 2022

Weigh-in: 249.2 lb lost so far: 43.9 lb still to go: 134.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment gaining 2.8 lb a week

18 November 2022

Still bloated and crampy but a lot less today. Thank goodness.
So we have a planet fitness near us, I hate it. I loved my former pf but this one is not as clean (I also never see staff cleaning like I was used to) and no total body, no massage beds. They only have the tanning beds and leg massage chairs. The total body/red light therapy actually work on me to reduce my muscle spasms so after I worked out I always used it at my old one. I haven't been working out like I used to. Wish me luck though. The gym is closed until 12/10 so they can remodel. Mostly the black card member area. If they get the total body I will start working out again, like I use to and not just go on the treadmill. My hubby is driving to the next closest one, about 30 minutes away but I haven't. I think I'll try it out Monday and see how it is. I miss my red light, it reduces recovery time. I thought it was hogwash until I tried it and it helped.
Weigh-in: 248.8 lb lost so far: 44.3 lb still to go: 133.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 7.0 lb a week

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