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BBQ at Joann's house Saturday. Had big steak with way too much homemade BBQ sauce. Tried to have just a little of everything and didn't do TOO bad, but then Jessica came up to spend the night, and I bought birthday cake and ice cream. I didn't have b'day cake except a couple of licks of frosting and about 1/2 to 3/4 cup of reduced fat rocky road ice cream. Had some vodka to chill out a little about having such a full day. Avery was crazy hyper (I don't help that when I play with her and she starts screaming maniacally) and Jessica absolutely has no idea of how to get the kid to go to bed. Still up around midnight. I had to insist they leave my room so I could take my meds and get some sleep. J. kept telling A. to "go and lay down with Gpa while he reads the Bible" instead of getting her out of there so I could get to SLEEP, which I had to say over and over. Jessica wanted A. to use the IPad she gave to us, which I couldn't find immediately, so that she could text on her own phone; said she doesn't like A. using her phone. The Ipad didn't log on correctly, so when I finally shut the bedrm. door and took my meds, J was texting on the little bed and A was maybe fooling on the IPad. This has GOT to change. Anyway, fairly bad night's sleep, woke up again to nightmarish backflashes on Mike...tired today and of course my weight jumped up again from yesterday. Hopefully it's largely salt and just extra calories/??
Later, Sunday afternoon...Jessica and Avery were up until 2 a.m. and we went to church without them. Took them to Ernie's Grill and I had an albacore tuna salad with a few T. ranch dsng. Looks like they're staying tonight, too. Danny told me when we were on our way to Ernie's that "they're staying over tonight"...after Jessica assured me on Saturday afternoon that YES, they're leaving Sunday for home. I really feel betrayed, and now I'm starting to show my anger OPENLY. Avery was CRAZY hyper last night and would NOT sleep. She had a lot of sugar with the cake and ice cream for the b'day Sat. night, and Jessica was "snacking" on the Teddy Grahams I'd bought just for Avery and hid in the cupboards. She hunted them up and was grazing on them on the sofa, and it's after 9 p.m. Avery's snarfing sugar down like crazy and I took the box and put it back. Went into the living room less than 5 minutes later and Jessica had retrieved it and was noshing the whole box down and letting Avery do the same. Before the teddy snarfs, I saw Danny in the kitchen alone for a few secs. He's been commenting all weekend, esp. today, that he needs to go to the LA VA Hospital to be checked for something major, which I keep discounting because he says this all the time. I'm wondering (I'm absolutely exhausted too and of course Sheila's just supposed to keep on truckin) if I might have to drive him to an ER tonight and be up all night with him AGAIN, like 2 weeks ago at Marian in SM.
My neck and back are killing me. I haven't slept well since Mike's outburst, Avery is just TOO much and being a total brat (but no one knows how to deal with it...she runs THE SHOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!) ... I can't deal with these people. I just can't deal with them. I've been holed up in my bedroom "sleeping" or here at the computer burning out my eyes when I'd love to chill and watch something light on TV. Now Jessica's doing a big load of laundry...no one asked me..maybe becuz I've been HIDING...so who knows IF they're going home, or when, or if EVER? She doesn't have to work tomorrow. Seems like she doesn't have to work much at ALL. Danny's yelling at her because she says she can't afford $20 a month at the YMCA to work out. WHERE CAN I GO???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate my life. I've been trying hard to have a good attitude!
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141.6 lb
Lost so far: 12.4 lb.
Still to go: 16.6 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 22 May 2016:
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1056 kcal
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Fat: 81.76g | Prot: 26.80g | Carb: 41.94g.
Breakfast: Earth Island Veganaise, Lucerne Sugar Free Hazelnut Coffee Creamer, Lucerne Sugar Free Hazelnut Coffee Creamer. Lunch: Ranch Salad Dressing, Great Value Vanilla Frosting, Shrimp Garden Salad (Shrimp, Eggs, Tomato and/or Carrots, Other Vegetables), Trader Joe's Albacore Tuna Salad. Snacks/Other: HEB Crumbled Goat Cheese. more...
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gaining 4.9 lb a week
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