DarkGoddess's Journal, 25 April 2023

Haven't been logging my calories for fear of more self loathing  

Congratulations on quitting vaping! 🎉 Really difficult, but so worth it.  

I don't suppose you can vape nicotine free vape? I quit nicotine about 14 yrs ago by smoking nicotine free cigarettes. My argument was that if I smoked for psychological relief, at least I'd be spending less than half the cost of a pack of fags on these honeyrose things. Puffed my brains out on those things for maybe 2 months and then one day realised I hadn't had a ciggie in 3 days... and it was plain sailing from there. It really sucks that the thing you use to handle stress is the thing you have to not do while going through the mega stress of quitting nicotine. :D 

Buy stock in sugar free gum. JK but gum really gets me over the hump some days. 5 pieces at once lololol it works 

Congratulations! I quit recently as well. I have gained about five lbs since then, and I quit on the 31st of March. The cravings have gotten better, but it seems like I am always hungry. Keep up the good work!  

Listen to the podcast losing 100 pounds with corrine. She gets into all the stuff. And makes so much sense. She cusses like a sailer but has alot of good info 

Don't know how often you weigh but 5 lbs down is amazing!  

An addiction is a chemical relationship in your brain. it's not a habit, and replacing nicotine with a habit does not create a new addiction. habits are easy to break. Addictions are a horror. Understanding that nicotine addiction has taken over your mind, choices and abilities is the first step in escaping it... for me it was breaking up with hubby, being severely broke, and using my mastercard to buy fags. I would never use my mastercard to buy food: oranges? chocolate? What's the most addictive food you can think of. I would never have dreamed of putting more debt on me when I could not pay a weeks' worth of life with a week's worth of government support... and yet I did it for ciggies. I suddenly understood I was going against everything I personally believe in. And that I was NOT the one in the driver's seat. Understanding that was key. Absolutely key. I shifted to nicotine free fags on the grounds that if I smoked for the nicotine the addiction would leave... but if I was smoking for a psychological crutch, a way of 'coping' with my traumas and miseries... then I would continue. The facts asserted themselves around month 3. My body forgot about smoking. I have never denied myself a nicotine free fag ever since, it as the deal I did - but I haven't had a nicotine free cigarette in over 13 yrs, and I have absolutely no trigger when seeing others smoke or vape, I can stand there with them, enjoying their smoke, without cravings, without being overpowered. Cigarette addiction is like heroin addiction, and nobody would ever tell you to quit having injections to save yourself from heroin would they. No. Target the addictive substance and don't worry about anything else you have to do to get through this. :) xx 

Take it day by day . You got this 💫☀️💪 

Trying to both change your eating habits AND giving up vaping at the same time may not be the best idea. Maybe concentrate on one at a time? 

While in a psych glass the professor said to be honest with yourself. If smoking to relieve stress was healthier but if smoking to just smoke also has many drawbacks. Anxiety causes causes medical conditions especially on the heart. Was on Chantix really worked stopped smoking for months with no desire but then came the time I had the nastiest patient. No matter when I scheduled her I left in tears. Needles to say figured I would have one to calm down before seeing remaining patients. That was it but answered the question I was smoking for anxiety. Same as Bubbles McBubbles have tried both dieting and quitting at same time. Hope the best for her. Unfortunately I became a demon so decided one thing at a time. Never knew there was nicotine free cigarettes. Guess I have some research to do Really really would like to give it up Best of luck on your journeys. Hope you succeed 

@irishdancer126 I can't tell you how amazing it was. I didn't put on an ounce. I smoked my brains out. Google honeyrose. I was smoking not vaping; honeyrose are like rosehip and comfrey and whatever rolled into a cigarette. it has the same draw as a cigarette. It hits the back of your throat exactly like a cigarette. It was 11:00am on the day I quit before my body realised I was lying to it with fake fags and at that point it told me they tasted disgusting and made that klaxon 'gimme nicotine' louder... I just said back to it that if I could go on floor sweepings "Pams" instant coffee after gorgeous italian espresso then I could suffer the flavour switch, and kept on trucking. It meant I could have a fag whenever I needed one. I think the most interesting phenomenon I noted was that all the other smokers would offer me 'real' cigarettes. Even the non-smokers. "oh that stuff smells disgusting!" (it doesn't.) "Have a real one!" Or, 'hey, you should cut back on those!'. NO! Don't cut back! Have one whenever you want one! Smoking nicotine cigarettes is NOT a habit. It is an addiction. The smoking is just the mechanism for ingesting the drug. When you are no longer addicted to the drug, the desire for the mechanism for receiving it goes away. Just like shooting up heroin. Nobody finds themself shooting up saline to get that amazing needle fix. It was the drug they wanted and the drug their body demanded. When it's forgotten the drug it doesn't need the mechanism for getting it. And for me I de-linked my nicotine urge from my cigarette smoking so I have absolutely no problem with people smoking around me, it triggers nothing other than I go and stand downwind and huff away at it happily. I have no desire to light up.  

DarkGoddess -- please don't fall into loathing. There is no moral failure in food or body weight. Please don't tell yourself anything you wouldn't say to a dear friend or beloved child ❤️ Hang in there. Breaking an addiction is hard, and we all only have so much willpower to go around. If your mental focus needs to be on somewhere other than weight for now to benefit your overall health, it's not the end of the world. Hugs to you 🤗