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YAY!! Making progress! Almost back to the weight I was when I first joined fatsecret, which is a little sad but given the circumstances of family tragedy and personal upheaval, I think I'm doing alright. Over thanksgiving, I lost my grandmother. She was very ill, but thankfully didn't have any pain until the very end. She was able to go at home, in her own bed, with her beautiful ranch view.
Afterwards, I returned to Corning to gather my things and move (partly) home to live at the ranch with Papa. Being there was hard. I found that everyone had an opinion about my weight or my classes and that i had some things to learn about myself. It also gave me a chance to evaluate my relationship with Jake. He was totally unsupportive about my move to help papa.
Yesterday, I was talking with Lorna and she said that she didn't like how he speaks to me sometimes and how controlling he is. Everyone agrees that his father is having some negative effects on him, but trying to get him to move is ridiculous. I confided to her that there are a series of conversations that I need to have with him, but I'm afraid that if I tell him everything that bothers me, he'll just give up and tell me to leave. She seemed quite shocked to hear that.... Last night, I asked him not to do something anymore ( i think it was not to bring up "other women"). when he asked why, i said because i thought it was childish and i didnt like it. His response was that me being away for more than half the relationship was childish and he didn't like it.
I honestly don't know how to make him understand how much it bothers me and how much our relationship is in jeopardy because of it... Next week I'm going to HWS with Indy, so maybe I'll drop into Hubbs and try to figure out a counselor to see...
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130.8 lb
Lost so far: 4.2 lb.
Still to go: 15.8 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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losing 4.9 lb a week
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