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Today I reached my heaviest weight EVER! Even during my 2 pregnancies I did not weigh this much! 290lbs, TWO HUNDRED and NINETY pounds!!!! Ten pounds away from tipping into the 300's! This weight gain is the culprit of my depression...I WANT you gone!!!!
What the heck have I done to myself...how could I let myself go this far? I love my husband, my children, and most parts of my life...BUT I do not love MYSELF! I don't even know who I am anymore or what I stand for in life! I WANT to find myself again...I NEED to find myself again! I want to be HAPPY and HEALTHY for ME, ME, ME!!! Then I can be those things for my hubby and for our kids! I WANT to grow old with them and make lots of memories along the way!!!!
C'mon Steph, let's get this thing goin, let's get a grip and start LIVING LIFE the way I WANT to live life -- not the way my obese mindset wants to live it for me!
My eventual Goal Weight is 156lbs...where my body SHOULD be according to the doc's. But I do not want to overwhelm myself with such a HUGE amount to lose, so I am going to set my goals for 10 pounds at a time -- small goals I can achieve more quickly and get the instant gratification from! I will reward myself with a manicure or pedicure or starting a new class at the YMCA when I reach my goals! FOOD is no longer a reward to me...after all, it was ultimately what got me here in the first place!
Food is FUEL, not COMFORT!!!
Now stick to what I know, stay true to myself -- and even if I stumble along the way...forgive myself, pick myself back up and move forward! Do not dwell in defeats, bust through them with the determination I have buried deep inside!
I KNOW I can do it...I have the support team in place and my biggest fan watching, guiding, and loving from above!!!!
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290.0 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 10.0 lb.
Diet followed N/A.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 31 January 2011:
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815 kcal
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Fat: 16.80g | Prot: 41.41g | Carb: 128.52g.
Breakfast: skim milk, Crispix. Lunch: subway roasted chicken noodle soup. Dinner: Whole Wheat Lasagna Noodles with Meat. Snacks/Other: activia blueberry yogurt. more...
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