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I had to laugh yesterday when I happen to go to my Profile Page and saw “My Recent Food & Exercise” list showing 3 glasses of wine. I knew it wasn't recent but any one else looking at it wouldn't know that. Since it didn't show any date one could guess it was yesterday, and “all” the other yesterdays whenever they went to that page. Searching around, the last time I listed the food I ate was 20 months ago: August 17, 2019. For all those 20 months anyone going to my Profile Page would see the notation. Maybe it was a coincidence that was our son's birthday. Incidentally, a standard glass of wine is 3 ½ oz. So 3 glasses would be 10 ½ oz total, not 3 big glasses, but still too much for me on an ongoing basis.
Yesterday was my third day without any wine but I had a very hard time holding out. It usually takes me about 2 weeks to lose the heavy craving for either wine or desserts. It had been a hard day today since I finally went to the dentist to check a tooth that has been hurting since December 7th. I was negligent about attending to it but have been so stressed, I just tried to ignore the physical pain. During the same time, I was having trouble walking from the sciatica pain from my back problems. The tooth had already had a root canal and crown. It now seems the tooth is fractured and infected and will need either an implant or a bridge. It was so tempting tonight to postpone my resolve to stop having wine for a while, and I almost relented. Since I am in a diet challenge with Debbie Cousins I need to get this diet back on track, plus I'm thinking I shouldn't be having wine every night. That can get scary. I had given it up for almost a week before my sister died 2 weeks ago. Yesterday I was down .2 lb, and today .3 lb.
I wrote a couple of replies to the comments to my last journal but I doubt the individuals that left them will go back to see them. Bottom line: I appreciate the responses, support, and well wishes! It is embarrassing that I am not very mature spiritually or emotionally, even at my old age. I feel pretty alone in life, and some here on FS have had pretty negative reactions to my co-dependence, plus even to my desire to finish my course (of marriage) with honor. And I haven't done well in even striking a good balance. In fact much of the time I don't even know the right thing to do. How wonderful that the Lord holds onto me as I muddle along. I'm sure the FS community gets frustrated with me, and many are totally disdainful. I have no other place to air, and several have been gracious enough to say, more or less, go ahead and write.
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126.7 lb
Lost so far: 0 lb.
Still to go: 13.7 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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losing 1.8 lb a week
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