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Given my history, I know that one concern my doctors have for me is that I may have a higher risk for postpartum depression. I find it interesting though that I've never experienced anything remotely like that that I can recall both times I had a newborn at home. If anything I find myself more often wanting to slam my fist through a wall rather than cry or be violent to myself or my children. I guess I get frustrated easily or something because that putting my fist through a wall desire comes up frequently. Thankfully I am not too impulsive and I can recognize the feeling, acknowledge the desire to act, and do something else or just not act. If it's really bad I just try to channel the energy into something else specific and short term, hopefully significantly productive. Other times I journal like this. Maybe it's not the most productive, but it helps me stay sane.
On the plus side I am starting to fit back into my pre maternity clothes. Yay! I am about a size 12 now at just shy of 170lb. I think at 190ish lb I'd wear about a 16/18 and my pre maternity clothes are size 10-14 dresses/ skirts and pants and M/L tops. I tend to go big with the tops, not because my chest needs it (I've been small/ flattish most of my life), but because I don't like my shirts riding up when I lift my arms. I am guessing that when I reach my goal I may be wearing more like size 8, maybe I could even get away with a size 6- that would be pretty sweet. Dumb arbitrary number, I am not to hung up if that doesn't happen, but my anticipation is for being in better shape than I've ever been before and I know I haven't been that small in my adult life to the best of my knowledge.
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169.0 lb
Lost so far: 3.0 lb.
Still to go: 39.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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steady weight
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