kingkeld's Journal, 18 July 2013

Good morning!

It's another beautiful morning here in Denmark! I'm LOVING the weather these days - the sun is shining, and the sky is blue, seemingly day after day. It's a rare thing here, and I'm enjoying it all I can.

I left work early simply because of this. I have saved up a few comp hours and I decided to simply spend them on SUMMER! Wife and I went out, walked, went to the gym and did NOT have ice cream. :)

It's been metioned before, but it's REALLY easy for me to stay within my RDI when I don't make dumb choices on my foods. Yesterday was no exception. The "no bad stuff" day was really easy.

I had leftover hamburger steak with oven baked potatoes for lunch, and freshly dug up baby potatoes with two HUGE frankfurters for dinner. Nobody in their right mind would call this diet food, yet here we are. It was good, fit my RDI nicely (with 1000 calories to spare at the end of the day), and tasted excellent.

So, given the low calorie day, two things happened:

1. I am down ANOTHER 1100 grams. Today, I'm at 81.2 kilos. Not too bad. I still hope to be under 80 by Saturday morning, but who knows.

2. I'm essentially done compensating for my stupid food choices last Monday. I now have my FULL RDI to use for today, tomorrow, and Sunday - with an Indulgence Day Saturday if I want it.

I see how much weight I drop on those days where I go low. It's kinda disturbing in the way that I can easily see why people starve themselves to weight loss. This is NOT something I want to do. I think it's MORE than essential to get the food our bodies need. The smaller deficit is good, this is what makes us lose weight, but long term goal has to be to eat "enough". This is what I'm trying to learn.

However, I see what happens to a lot of people, or at least I think I see it. Obviously, I can't read minds, I'm not a psychiatrist either, and I can't look into anyones noggin.

However, based on my experiences with Indulgence Day, I can see how people can misinterpret:

- I eat a LOT one day. Bad calories. Fat food, sugars. Let's say the 4000 calories that my Indulgence Days have been lately. I gain 3-4 kilos.
- Then I go very low a few days. Say I eat 1000-1200 calories on days where I should be eating 2100. Healthy choices all the way. I drop weight like crazy.

It's easy to assume, if one doesn't know any better, that I gain 3-4 kilos of fat on the Indulgence Day, and then lose the same fat over the next days, and that if we just keep doing "starvation days" over and over then supposedly we'd lose even more. This is obviously not the case.

What does happen is that I retain water, and probably gain a little bit of fat. The fat drizzles off over the course of the next days, along with the fluids, because I go back to a more normal way of eating.

The massive fluctuations mainly come from the HUGE portion of sugars and fat. It only comes from over-indulging.

At least, this is my theory.

The point to all this is that once I am at my goal weight again, and start eating in more "normal" patterns, then I can afford to do a little more of the "naughty stuff" and not be a food saint constantly. Of course, it has to remain under control. It has to be done right, and it'll be a very fine balance. I've mentioned my rules for this over and over, so I'm not gonna bother you with that again.

So, even if I am back to having a "normal" RDI, having compensated for all the extra calories I had Monday, I'm still gonna make smart choices today. I totally see the benefit from eating right, and it's all good.

...

It IS of course cake day at work. Damn cake day. It's always a challenge. I don't really want to NOT go downstairs for the break, as there is also a lot of social aspects to going, but the cake is such a big part of it.

My plan for today is to bring one of my HUGE apples, and if anything else maybe a protein bar. The protein bars I have these days are super deliscious, and would work as a treat.

...

This is not the only "food challenge" I have today, but it is by far the toughest one.

Another one is "vacation bread". I have two colleagues going on vacation from tomorrow, and traditionally they serve breakfast for everyone else. Again, it's almost mandatory to attend.

I will definitely attend, but I won't eat. Fortunately, this gang is used to me going my own ways on food choices, and they have learned to just not ask. :)

Still, it's a bother for ME when I get to sit at a table full of freshly baked bread, butter, cheeses, often all kinds of nice cold cuts and what-have-you. It's nice, tasty food.

Trouble is of course that once I start, I don't wanna stop. I love the breakfast breads we have here in Denmark. They are SOOOOO good. So, it's better to NOT start.

Besides, it simply doesn't fit into my 8 hours feeding window. Period. This solves it, no matter. I'm on a mission, and I intend to follow through as much as possible.

...

I really don't miss breakfast, other than when I'm sat down right in front of it. And even then, I don't have big problems just saying no. I usually just remind myself that with the Intermittent Fasting, I am RIGHT in the most efficient fat burning zone at breakfast time. This is when my body is REALLY doing a little extra, so this would be the dumbest time to give in. So why should I? I'm not even hungry, and I have a deliscious lunch waiting for me at 11 AM, just about 90 minutes away. It would be STUPID to go eat breakfast.

...

I did great on exercise yesterday. Well, mostly, anyways.

I did NOT manage to go all the way at the gym. I did have what I'm supposed to. At that point I was REALLY tired, my legs were hurting (from the running on Tuesday) and it was all bad. I did what I could though, and had to settle for that no matter how much I disliked it. I did NOT have energy for anything more.

I DID get to walk and move around quite a bit though. Since Wife and I left work early, we opted to walk extra, and of course I had my morning walk too. It was nice, and it really gave me some extra steps and calorie burn.

Check it out.

Of course, since I was so tired yesterday, the rest of the day was VERY quiet. Basically we just watched TV-shows the whole late afternoon and evening, but I figured it was okay. I did a LOT of steps already, I reached my calorie burn goal and I got to rest. Feet up, relax.

...

The rest really paid off.

I feel completely different today, much more back in my usual groove. I slept like a rock. I feel much better today. WAY better than I have felt all week, actually.

I think a lot of it has to do with me taking it easy yesterday, and I think a lot of it has to do with me having a nice, large dinner yesterday.

I'm constantly doubting whether I get enough nutrition when I am eating these days. I think it's okay what I'm doing, all the numbers look okay. The only thing I can think of is whether I get ENOUGH calories overall, or if I am getting myself into starvation mode without realizing. It sounds silly, considering I have the Indulgence Days (and too many of them), but overall I don't really consume all that many calories, if we look at it over long time. I'm in the deficit that I am supposed to be, and then quite some. This is pretty often.

The goal to all this is of course to find the sweet spot where I don't gain, and don't lose. But I can't do that until I weigh what I want to weigh.

I'm thinking a lot about how to get rid of Indulgence Day. I think that it damages my mission these days, as it spins out of control. If not getting rid of it, then definitely reeling it in.

It's just a few small adjustments that needs to be done, but they are HARD to do for me. I just have to be more focused, but it seems to not happen on those days. I think the issue lies with the Carb Monster. I tend to let him out on purpose on those days, and he just runs with it.

I see it as a "treat" for doing better the rest of the week. The thing is, of course, that I don't always do "better" the rest of the week. And also, I know better than to let him out. I know that once he's out - he's in charge. And who wants that? He's costing me thousands of calories. Literally.

Habits. It's all about habits. It's become a habit to get a large bag of candies for movies on Saturday. "I earned it", is usually my argument in my head. Bull crap. Sure, I might have earned it, but do I really want it? I can argue this with myself all day, and I'll still go to the candy store.

If I can simply NOT go to the candy store, then I'm way better off. I could simply get a bar of chocolate or something else at the supermarket. That way it's a set portion, and I can see how much they cost me on the calories.

At the candy store, you're basically filling a bag, then weight it, then pay. The thing is, of course, that the bag looks empty until there is a LOT of candy in it, and this is obviously a bad move to take one of those suckers home. Duh.

Still, I'm very very good at convincing myself to do this. I should be a frickin' politician. :D

...

Today is also my "work at the gym"-day. I'm always looking forward to this, but it also makes it a LONG day. Fun, but long.

I hope I can get to sign up a client or two for my weight loss class. I have some open slots, and I'd like to fill them up. Let's see who shows up to work out today, and see what happens. Many times this is how I get clients.

...

Today, I'm thankful for:
- SUMMER!
- About to go for my walk - my legs are much better (I hope. I'll know in about 5 kilometers! LOL!)
- Morning coffee for giving me a shot of energy.
- Focus on handling the work breakfast and cake today. Just. Say. No. :)
- Wife. Even if she makes awesome cakes. :)

Happy Thursday! Make it a good one! Life is good!

EDIT:
Today is turning out to be a somewhat rough morning. I can tell that I have the urge for sugars, and I do NOT WANNA BUDGE! Still, there are crazy cravings, and they are hard to ignore. It's a good thing lunch break is only 14 minutes away. I can do this.

I think this happens once or twice per week these days. This is why "Impromptu Indulgence Days" happen now and then. Today will NOT be one. No cake for me this afternoon. It's simply too dangerous. :/

Instead, I will go for the break, and bring an apple. If I am hungry later, I have another apple, and also a protein bar. But let's see if the apple can't kill it.

Lunch is chili sin carne, vegetarian dish. Not much when it comes to protein, but it does have kidney beans. I hope it'll do it. I have a large portion, as I was gonna share it with Wife. She doesn't want any, so I could double it - and make it 300 calories worth of food.

I don't really want to eat more than necessary, though, so I will try to just go for what I have planned.

Sticking to the plan is never really a bad idea, right? :)
END OF EDIT.

EDIT2:
I fought through the sugar cravings. A couple of apples did the trick, and I'm feeling MUCH better. :) Life is good!
END OF EDIT.
179.0 lb Lost so far: 162.7 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.
on diet kingkeld's own diet   losing 17.0 lb a week

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Comments 
Beautiful and sunny over here also :) (UK) Enjoy.  
18 Jul 13 by member: tonym1967
So glad you got through the cravings, they are very hard to fight through. Pat on your back for doing it, glad the apples helped. It would be impossible for me to sit in front of a table full of breads and meats and cheeses and not eat - kudos to you if you can do it. I can literally smell the bread in my imagination. It is kinda cruel that we can't eat what we want and be the size we want. Unless you make that day your indulgence day but then the week-end is shot, right? And cake day - goodness the horrors never end - you need massive willpower for that. I really do commend you for standing strong. Your thoughts on the candies on Saturday too - isn't it awful how our brains can trick us into things? How we rationalize things? We've been good all week. We've got up, went to the gym, been nice to strangers, whatever, our brain tells us we deserve that "whatever" treat we really want. I don't have any new ideas for you other than what I've posted before and you have a good handle on the situation, it's just getting through it and only you can do that Keld. Good luck and will watch your progress with interest as always. Your struggles are the ones we are all facing so your solutions and comments and ideas are all helpful. Glad you feel better today physically. Your body does tell you things, you just have to listen more. Not a criticism, just a thought. I think you do amazing and when you feel strong you likely push yourself. Then your body says - hey man I'm bushed - so on those days you have to honour that too and rest, like you did. I'm sorry my comments are always so long :) But your journals always have so much content ! :) By the way I saw a nice drop in weight this morning. So I must thank you. I have eaten more/better this past week and have had a nice drop as my reward. I really do appreciate your help. Wonder if you could set up an online weight loss centre - help people 'on line' kinda like Weight Watchers online = it could be Keld on line - you have much to offer. You are likely through cake day by now, I know you stood strong, and good for you not having ice cream yesterday when you took some time off from work to enjoy summer :) 
18 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
That is AWESOME! I'm glad to see you are getting results. Is it too early to scream "TOLD YOU!"? :) I have survived breakfasts and cake day, and I'm in good shape. I did do a tiny hiccup. On purpose. :) More on that tomorrow. And please don't hold back on your comments. I like them. I'm glad my journal makes you ponder on things. That's how I use them, and if other can use them too, I'm all for it. Online business? Well, I'd have to compete with FatSecret, won't I? LOL. 
18 Jul 13 by member: kingkeld
Thanks Keld, and no it's not too early to scream YOU TOLD ME SO. I am really pleased, it's great to be eating 'normal' again. I do still watch my carbs ie sweets, and breads etc, watching for that damn carb monster, but it is awesome to have a bun without fear, to have yogurt, fresh fruit, not just berries. So yes, you told me so and thankfully I listened. I am doing the happy dance, and also for you, you survived your trials today and interested to hear of your intentional hiccup. Chat again tomorrow :) 
18 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
You bet.  
18 Jul 13 by member: kingkeld
So you're probably asleep by now - wondering how you did with cake day? I know that one is a challenge. Breads... oh boy I can relate. I baked big flakey biscuits for my husband this morning and even though I wasn't hungry I felt 'man... why can't I have one....?' so I DID, put it in a bowl and had a few bites of it but then drank a pint of water and went into another room for a bit; craving satisfied and I didn't embark on a day of regret from giving into my craving or aggravation of not being able to taste some of the things I like. Just a suggestion. It's hard, I know. Every friggin' day in and day out having to decide and choose and when we choose too much to repair. But that's our life for right now until we get past being 'the person who lost weight' and fully, comfortably, forever move into 'the person eating to live rather than feeling as if every waking second is focused on living to eat.' 
18 Jul 13 by member: FullaBella
Yes, I like summer too. It is Texas hot here in New England now, but it doesn't last long. A week at most. We get less than two weeks of super hot weather here. There is so much more to do when it is summer like swim, or go out for a walk and not fall on ice or snow! You are a good motivator on here, too many people get down on themselves on here, or don't journal on here instead of eating cake, dozens I have known over the years just gave up. 
18 Jul 13 by member: GlennM

     
 

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