TRPiJiu's Journal, 30 April 2020

This indicates a weight gain, but it's actually a loss, because I haven't bothered to weigh in in a while and my weight had gone up a pound or two. But guhhhh, this is the worst way to lose weight: anxiety.

My mother is in the hospital right now because of a bacterial infection (Covid very unlikely to be an additional issue, though she's being tested). She's in the ICU because her blood pressure was low (likely because she was very dehydrated). She's on antibiotics and fluids, she's stable, she's "fine," awake, alert, sitting up, on room air initially, though she has been on oxygen since last night because she had a couple anxious episodes. And after Tylenol her pain is 4 to 5, rather than the 7 it was on Monday. (My mother has horrendous pain from hip/low back/rib issues.) But she still has no appetite.

But I don't know if I can take this anxiety. I need to just go on a walk in my neighborhood, but the weather is unpleasant and I'm just too exhausted to use exercise equipment. Wondering if I should just have a good cry. I dunno.

181.8 lb Lost so far: 33.2 lb.    Still to go: 11.8 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.