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I’m miserable.
That is probably a bad way to start out a blog, but it’s true; I’m fat, uncomfortable in my own skin, not liking my job right now and just not happy.
My wife is still amazing and Evan has been a lot better lately, as far as being a brat. I couldn’t ask for a better marriage or kid, so my personal life is perfect…I just need to make some changes somewhere.
Last Thursday, I had a “sleep study”. I’ve known that I have sleep apnea for years, I’m not an idiot. I snore, I’m always tired and Jackie doesn’t sleep very well because she is always listening for when I stop breathing, so she can wake me up. During the test, the lady said that once I fell asleep, if I stopped breathing or it was bad, she would come back in and put the CPAP mask on me….that took like 15 minutes!!
I was hooked up to wires, straps, a CPAP machine and all this other shit and I remember thinking…this is my future. The doctor said a lot of it has to do with my weight and if I could lose some weight, it would get better, I guess this is the turning point in my life.
I’m 32 years old and weigh 385 lbs. and I’m miserable. The way I see it, I have two choices from today on…
1. Continue on the path I’m going, spend the rest of my short life hooked to machines and die of a heart attack before I’m 40.
2. Make some changes, get healthy and try to be around for a few more years…and NOT be miserable.
I can honestly say that I’m addicted to food….I love everything about it, but I also have to admit that I can’t just stop cold turkey.
(although eating it is actually healthy.)
I did it once before and since then, I’ve tried several times…always failing. I come on here and talk about everything I’m going to do…and then never do it. \
I’m not sure what I’m trying to get out of writing this, I just got stuff on my mind and trying to really grasp the situation. I totally understand that my weight is getting to a serious point, but I still don’t seem to care…even though I’m miserable. WTF?
I have everything in place to lose weight, I know exactly how to lose weight because I’ve done it before….so why am I NOT doing it? Not even trying over the last month or so…
Love, Peace and Sharkyness!
~~~~ShArky~~~~
Sharky@SharkysWorld.com
SharkysWorld.com
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384.0 lb
Lost so far: 6.0 lb.
Still to go: 172.0 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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gaining 0.8 lb a week
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