peeperjj's Journal, 25 October 2018

I love my scale this morning. I believe my little talk with it worked 😉. However, I’ve dropped below 130 before so I know not to be too excited about this 129. I’m up and down constantly within 2-5# and that’s cool. It’s why I now have a goal of a 5# range. Right now it’s 125-130. Once I drop closer to 125 I’ll change it to 120-125. 126 is my ideal. I’ve spent a decade at 132-136 so that one was hard to get past. I spent 8 years as a teen/young adult from 110-118 and a few years later managed to stay just under 130. I THINK that once I get closer to 118 it’ll be easy to maintain. If my body liked the 144 I stayed at for awhile and loved the 130-135 range then it has to kinda like the 110-120 range right?

I also realize I’ve had three children, numerous surgeries and went through chemo and surgical menopause. These things, particularly the last two, may not allow me to get there and stay there. If not then that’s cool. I’ll adjust my expectations as I go. Yeah I would upbeat and positive but if that happens my depression will get worse, I’ll be anxious and worry but after a couple weeks I know I’ll be okay with it! Afterall, I stayed positive 90% of the time through chemo and all that. Surely I can learn to be positive about a new number on the scale. Although for me to be happy my clothes would have to fit a bit looser than they do currently, I would need a little less fat and a little more muscle. I’m a perfectionist so I’ve learned to adjust my version of ‘perfect’ as needed when I can. A ‘perfect for me’ if you will. But dammit just once I went to fit my size 1-3 jeans again!! Even if that means having my daughter wear them a few hours to stretch them lol. Well these are from 15-20 years ago so no stretch but I do still remember how to shake around until they slide up then lay on the bed to zip them haha. Plus I’ll burn calories with all that moving around haha. Have a great day FS family! Thank you... for being here, for the support and well, for just being you!

129.0 lb Lost so far: 31.6 lb.    Still to go: 4.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

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1605 kcal

Fat: 77.25g | Prot: 102.75g | Carb: 136.00g.   Lunch: Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Great Value Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, Tostitos 100% White Corn Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips. Dinner: Campbell's Homestyle Chicken Noodle Soup, Oscar Mayer 95% Fat Free White Oven Roasted Turkey Cold Cuts, Sara Lee Delightful Healthy Multi-Grain Bread, Borden 2% Milk American Cheese Slices, Land O'Lakes Salted Butter. Snacks/Other: Snickers Snickers Bar (1.86 oz), Premier Nutrition High Protein Shake - Caramel, Fit Crunch Cinnamon Twist Baked Gluten Free, Nature Made Vitamin D3 Adult Gummies, Centrum Multigummies, Nature's Bounty Hair, Skin, & Nails Gummies, Caltrate 600+D Calcium Supplement. more...

1535 kcal

Activities & Exercise: 3PLUS - 1 hour, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 15 hours, Apple Health - 0 minutes. more...