Arnica's Journal, 17 January 2008

Day 74

So, I was thinking today . . . A year ago, I weighed more than 10 kg's more than I weight right now. The last time I was this weight, was about two years ago. And at that stage, I was still steadily gaining.

So, why do I still feel so fat? I mean, I know I have a long way to go, still. But, I feel emotionally more overweight now than I did then. I've heard of a book called "Loosing your pounds of pain." That is so true. The emotional baggage that we sit with, that we need to rid ourselves of, together with the physical weight, is rather alarming.

Perhaps that is why weight loss takes time. It's more than just the loss of physical matter. It's the loss of pain. It's facing the hurt of stigma's and stereotypes, and inferiority complexes, and abandonement issues. It's admitting those, and letting them free into the universe. It's embracing the changes we're making to ourselves. It's patting ourselves on the back for a job well done. And it's accepting and rejoying in the person we are becoming.

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Comments 
You make a really interesting point :] 
17 Jan 08 by member: fairy_princess
I have been many different sizes in my adult life and I noticed that my size is not determinant of my mental state. When I was 128lbs at 5'7" I felt fat, but now I just want to get to 150 lbs and I'm happy with myself even though I have a goal of a lower weight. The difference was what point I was in my life. I think you are so right. We have to face certain things in order to let go. You will feel a lot lighter inside and out once you move through this process. 
17 Jan 08 by member: sararay

     
 

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