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This makes day 6 that I weigh exactly the same weight. I am starting to freak out. It put me in a really bad mood this morning. I was sure I was going to have lost some weight since yesterday. I can't afford to let the old self-loathing self talk to creep back into my life. So far this diet has been pretty easy for which I am very grateful. I suppose nothing worth doing is ever completely easy. Do I have what it takes to make this happen? I really, really, really hope so.
The worst part about disappointments in dieting are that I can't even go to food for comfort. It only makes things worse. What else can I do? I don't have any money, so shopping is out of the equation. Exercising just reminds me of how weak and pathetic I have become (not ruling this one out, though). I am bored with all my video games. Maybe I'll read a book. I tried crying, it only made me tired and now my face is all puffy.
I didn't even get to eat something naughty (a.k.a. carbs) to explain this setback. I need this diet to be over as soon as possible. I am tired of playing around with the whole weight loss thing. I don't want being overweight to define who I am. I will be so glad when I step on that scale and have something to show for all this calorie counting.
I think I am slightly manic-depressive because yesterday I was feeling great for no reason. Today I am weepy over the littlest things. I hate playing into the typical female stereotype. Why can't I be who I want to be rather than who I actually am? I feel like my nature is a weight tied around my neck that I have to fight daily against to get anywhere.
Tomorrow will be better. I just need to get through today. It's Saturday, darn it. This is supposed to be a fun day. What a waste, *sigh*.
Diet Calendar Entry for 05 May 2012:
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773 kcal
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Fat: 30.33g | Prot: 78.75g | Carb: 50.02g.
Lunch: pico de gallo, onions, Bell Peppers, Diced Chicken Breast Meat, egg whites. Dinner: cooked broccoli, cooked spinach, Grilled Chicken, Cheesecake. more...
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 Comments
You can do this! Is the weather good where you are? Is it worth going out just to window shop and call that a workout? I am just about to get my wimpy, fat self on the treadmill and I am grateful nobody can see how slow I am, but every day I get faster.
05 May 12 by member: Heidijoy
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Thanks for the encouragement! Unfortunately it is really starting to heat up around here (Phoenix) so you have to be careful what time of the day to be outdoors. I thought I would get out of town today and head up the Grand Canyon but that didn't pan out. I still took a mini stay-cation with the hubby and drove up to the top of South Mountain for a little picnic and some scenery. It was nice until the flies drove us away. I saw a lot of people hiking and biking. I would like to try that when I am in a little better shape. Maybe when the sun goes down today, I'll get in a little walk.
06 May 12 by member: Eringiffin
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That's too funny, MillaLite. I grew up in Phoenix and moved away after college. I just came back after being gone for the better part of 10 years. I catch myself reminiscing about "the ol' days", too. Summer nights hanging out in the parking lot of Hooters at car shows, playing beach volleyball at 11pm at night, hiking Squaw Peak (now called Piestawa Peak, hehe). I was never thin but I wasn't fat either. I'd like to be able to do some of those things again. I used to live not far from that resort but I never went there because I was intimidated by all the wealth.
07 May 12 by member: Eringiffin
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