kingkeld's Journal, 29 December 2011

"Uhh, your collar bone poked me in the chin". This is a sentence NOBODY has ever said to me. Until this morning, when I gave Wife a hug.

I see a lot of changes lately. A LOT. I am getting downright body, and I don't think I like it too much. I've always been soft. I've always been the cuddly teddy bear.

Now I feel a little more like a bicycle. Hard and pokey. I can literally see my muscles in arms and legs, and I still don't fully recognize my hands. It's REALLY strange, how these things change.

I am fully used to my face. However, there is this fat guy in all my old photos that I can't relate to any longer. It's strange. I mean, it's only been 15 months doing this and I feel so shallow when I say I don't recognize the old fat guy. It sounds so fake, but that is how I feel.

I think it's psychology that comes into play. Just like I never saw myself as skinny me before I started my weight loss journey, I now don't see myself as fat me any longer. I think I can't related to the photos simply because it's no longer me that I see in the photos. And this really sucks. This affects my wedding pictures and many other great moments that I've had through my life. All being fat. Hmmmm...

It is interesting though, how we change our thoughts. I know I have worked a LOT on mine. I have worked hard on getting the thin mindset, where you live, eat, exercise, think as a thin person would. I think this is part of my solution. I think that not only are we what we eat, we also are what we think. It kinda ties up with the "Yoda" journal I did the day before yesterday. Change your mindset, and you will change you. Make certain things "LAW" and you will not need to worry about them. One of my LAWS are that I do NOT go over RDI. I absolutely hate when it happens and I try hard to shift things around and re-adjust to stay below. Sure, it can be perceived as being a little OCD, but honestly, is it more OCD than thinking "I can't eat beef without gravy" or "I need my going-to-the-movies bucket of popcorn, or I simply won't go!"? I think these things can be equally strong. They're rules that we set up in our heads, we live by them until the end unless we do an effort to change them.

But we CAN change them. It takes a little willpower, but it is absolutely doable. I think one of the easier ways (at least for me) is to ask myself critical questions.

"If I go to the movies, and I don't have popcorn, what will happen? Will I get arrested? Will I die? Will I hurt someone?". The answer is - of course - no. So what, other than the fact that I won't eat popcorn is it that I'm afraid of? Fact is, that once the movie starts and I sit there and watch it and get into it, I really don't care about the popcorn any longer. If they're there, I'll eat 'em. If they're not, I don't miss 'em. Plain and simple.

I have changed many little things about like this over the last 15 months. I don't think it's good to do it all at once, but every now and then when you come across something that you KNOW you could do better, give it a little thought. Experiment. Try NOT having that snack that you're used to. Just try it. Maybe it's not as difficult as you think.

There. That's the thought of the day. :)

So, today I gained some weight back. Still not too bad. I was down a good chunk yesterday, 900g, and I am up 700 today. So over two days it's a 200g weight loss. I can live with that. My only thing is that I now need to lose 2.4 kgs to reach my Saturday morning goal. It's a tough one.

I'm still working hard to get there. I exercise more than I have ever done before in my life. Yesterday I did my exercise DVD (30 minutes) after writing my journal. I felt so bad about slacking, and I just had to do it to get peace with myself. I think this is becoming LAW. I HAVE to do my morning exercises. Not a bad thing, I think.

Afterwards, Wife and I FINALLY watched the last Harry Potter movie. What a great ending to the saga. I highly recommend it, though I don't think it'll make much sense unless you see the whole thing, all 8 movies. There are so many references and story lines that go through the whole thing. It's brilliant work.

The movie is 130 minutes, and the 120 of the I spent on the exercise bike. It's a great way for me to get come calories burned. I set the weight on it so that I can comfortably ride, but it's not light. I find the level where I can tell that I will tire quickly, and then go one setting under that. It works great. I can already tell a huge difference in stamina.

I also did a little shopping for dinner with Wife. Here, shopping means walking to the store, about 10 minutes away, shopping, and dragging it all back home and up to the 3rd floor. No car. It's a little workout in itself.

We had guests over yesterday. Wife did her amazing Mexican rice, and a turkey breast dish, Carne guisada. Normally this is done with beef or pork, but we opted for turkey as it's healthier and we had a good chunk in the freezer. Saved us a little money. It was awesome.

After dinner, Wife made dessert, and it turns out that in our rush to get stuff at the store we got the wrong cream for the dessert. I just got up and ran to the store to get it, back in about 15. I gotta say I was surprised. It was no real effort, and I enjoyed doing it. Not too long ago I would have been highly irritated and moaning and groaning about having to go back out. I had absolutely no problem with it yesterday. I thought it was cool that I could run back up the stairs after getting the cream. Oh, and the dessert was delish! :)

Today I am thankful for
- another day at home with Wife.
- the outlook of another walk with her.
- time on the exercise bike.
- morning coffee!
- eggs in the morning
- having accomplished doing my exercise DVD
- kitty cat sleeping in my lap again, keeping me warm.

Happy Thursday, my friends! Life is good!

181.4 lb Lost so far: 160.3 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

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1480 kcal

Fat: 69.73g | Prot: 51.34g | Carb: 156.72g.   Breakfast: Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Egg. Lunch: Ranch Salad Dressing (Fat Free), Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables. Dinner: Ranch Salad Dressing (Fat Free), Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, French or Vienna Bread (Includes Sourdough), cream of mushroom, Mixed Vegetables (Solids and Liquids, Canned), Beef Tongue. Snacks/Other: extra lean ham, Kakaois, Whipped Cream (Pressurized). more...

3663 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 2 hours and 15 minutes, Bicycling (leisurely) - <10/mph - 2 hours and 45 minutes, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 30 minutes, Sitting - 10 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Standing - 30 minutes. more...