jsfantome's Journal, 30 November 2011

Paula, thats life...we have new friends and we have old ones...I hope I never offend people but I do sometimes...some get over it and some don't..but if you get to know me..you'll see I am a very kind person and would not hurt a flea..unless it was biting me..LOL...Your a good person, and your heart is in the right place..try not to take it personally if people come and go...its nothing you did or didn't do...☺ 

Paula, I don't think it is you at all. I think that this social media thing is difficult for many people. Take Facebook for example. I created a page and have some friends on it but I don't like putting lots of stuff out there. I mean really, does anyone really care if I am at Starbucks for coffee?? I delete people from that site or at least hide them often because they put too much crap out there. Anyway, I think this site is even more daunting. When you sit here and read peoples journals and write your own, sometimes you find you have inner deamons you had been hiding from yourself and everyone else. if you start to face them, this entire journal can get really deep and sometimes depressing. There is also the ease of navigating issue. I can't write a journal from my phone. Therefore, I can only do this when I am at work. I don't open a computer unless I am at work because it feels as if I work all the time if I do that. I connect with people much better via email or text message or just a plain old fashioned phone call. Facebook connections are even a bit better than here because at least it comes on my phone also. I don't think you should ever think there is a problem with you being opinionated. If people don't like what you have to say - that is their problem. Even if I don't always agree with you I still appreciate your opinion. Strenght in self is a wonderful trait and something that many of us try to build. If a person can't take what your giving out - it is on them not you. bottom line to all this rambling is - if you feel lonely, call me :) I'm always around.  

thanks Bren, and Elizabeth...you both made me smile, and yes, I do feel better now! Just having a moment I guess! 

I understand where you are coming from. I felt close to a couple of buddies that left without ever saying goodbye. A few may have switched to other sites, but most who leave have probably failed (or felt like failures), given up and moved on. But we should not take that personally or feel guilty that we were somehow unable to "save" them. You give a lot of encouragement here, and if any one of your old Buds come back I am sure they'll be looking you up (maybe I'll find some of mine around January 1st).  

I am new to this site and you have been such a help to me! Your positive comments, knowledge and attitude are wonderful. Hope you are feeling better today! 

thanks guys! - it is all of that.. and I do feel better about just coming back to this one journal, and actually seeing people reply to me! I was feeling kinda 'lonely' I guess... Which - made me really stop and think this morning. I do feel what I feel sometimes on here, but I actually think this morning's blues were more triggered by homelife, than anything else. I was kind of overly focusing on how my youngest just spent his last High School Thanksgiving without his parents. We went away... and who knows if he will make it home from school (college) - depending on where he goes... and then Christmas is coming, and all the kids are so focused on what other people are doing, what parties they 'have' to go to... that I was feeling kind of that pushed aside and empty nest feeling already!! AAAAAGGGHHHHHH! Not sure I want to see what next August looks like! Anyway, thanks for your kindness and for helping to make me feel better! Much Love. 

I think buffy is right about people dissappearing from here. I have friends here for certain. But this site is more than a social thing. I am here for a purpose. I plan to always need this as a crutch and hope that i will not lie to myslef or to you on this site and say i am doing fine when I am am actually eating bad and gaining weight. but i can see that happening. And the gain causing me to stop coming back because I don't want to fess up. i just assume that some people dissappear because they have failed or because they 'think' they have succeeded. For me, I feel a common bond to my friends and I hope I don't dissappear. but i know that I have had times when i did not really want to talk about life. And i hate having to try to find what is going on with my friends on this site. it is not easy for me to keep up with you all. it takes time that I don't always have. Wish this site was better but... it is what it is :) And it has been a wonderful tool for me thus far. i am thankful i found it and you 

Sorry you are feeling down... Speaking for myself, I look forward to seeing what goals you are setting yourself, and what new things you have found out. It's all about sharing.... And I have certainly picked up on a couple of things you have journaled and put them into practise. Know what you mean about people coming and going..... I just put it down to them not wanting to carry on their weight loss journey... It can be tough, and for some, it is too difficult. Chin up honey :-) 

Paula, I can't speak for anybody else, just me! I think you are a wonderful, open,warm & giving person (to name just a FEW)! I have often wondered the same about this social networking stuff, feeling as if everybody else knows something I have yet to figure out. But, I think you touched on this just a short time ago, regarding groups & how they used to be & how they are now. I know you started one too, but I confess, I just haven't had the time to frequent there. All that, plus the time of year with the holidays & all small wonder that we are all wondering where the people go, or why they go, & hope everything is OK with them. For all the down sides to being on FS, there are so many good things, so I just try to concentrate on those, & let each to his/her own be true. Paula, YOU are one of the good things about FS!  

I understand what you are saying but I wonder if your mood has anything to do with the weather and change of season. This is the time of year many feel alone. I rarely do but after working thanksgiving I had an intense sense of lonliness. I have talked to others who seem to be feeling the same. You seem to have many on here who care for you and dont mind you are a strong woman :) Many would definately miss you and all your good advice. Including me. Youve given me some wonderful foods for thought. I have to agree to me this site is alot like facebook. Some folks are your facebook friends and some are more. Some you wonder why you friended in the first place lol.  

What they said! Seriously, like Elizabeth, the social media thing is definitely a different space. I feel really bad when people go away and I think I've made a friend. I PM them periodically anyway and, when they come back, they often catch up, but it's weird. I'm with you, Paula, and with everyone else. You are an amazing support system for all of us (Atkins and non-Atkins) and I am so grateful for all your journals, ideas, forums, posts and yes, PMs. Maybe with some closer FS buddies, you can exchange another form of communication (FB, email, etc) so you can continue your friendship outside of FS, if you feel comfortable. Anyway, Paula, thanks for everything you do and are! 

What they said! Seriously, like Elizabeth, the social media thing is definitely a different space. I feel really bad when people go away and I think I've made a friend. I PM them periodically anyway and, when they come back, they often catch up, but it's weird. I'm with you, Paula, and with everyone else. You are an amazing support system for all of us (Atkins and non-Atkins) and I am so grateful for all your journals, ideas, forums, posts and yes, PMs. Maybe with some closer FS buddies, you can exchange another form of communication (FB, email, etc) so you can continue your friendship outside of FS, if you feel comfortable. Anyway, Paula, thanks for everything you do and are! 

you guys are wonderful! and I mean that...whole heartedly!!!! Much Love! Had yummy Haddock for dinner tonight! Hubby said it was the best I ever made. It had a mayo and parmesaen crust topping baked in the oven. Who knew mayo could make fish taste so good! But then again, it is the main ingredient in tartar sauce so I guess I am not the first to think of it afterall! :) 

Paula...I truly believe that no one other person on this site is revered as much as you...there are many wonderful people sharing ideas and cheerleading the rest of us but you spend countless hours researching and sharing your experiences. I wouldn't worry that you have written something to offend people...all of us get responses that we don't understand but when we realize that someone cared enough to respond, it brightens our day. I feel fortunate that when I journal someone usually comments on what I write...you, my dear, often have many responses...and since I check on all my buddies each day, I don't see anyone disagreeing or taking issue with what you write...you open all of us up to "new" thinking. It is hard to lose our "friends"...oddly, none of us have never met but I think we are more intimate with each other than if we were to be sitting in the same room chatting...so the loss is deeper. There is that old saying about some folks being in our lives for a season, a reason, or a lifetime...I think that is what happens on FS. Like so many others have shared....I plan to be here for the duration. I can't imagine not having a place to "talk" about my feelings and frustrations as well as my successes. I welcome all new friends and if my old friends have to leave...I will just relish in the fact that I had the opportunity to share with them for a season or a reason. Cheer up Paula, we all love you so much.... 

Hey there gloomy gus! Tis the season to be gloomy for a lot of us. I was just commenting to another member that this time of the year is stressful. There are a lot of us feeling lonely this time of the year because of the empty nest thing. Everyone moved far away or now the holidays are split up between their new families. It is down heartening. I am still finding my way around this site but I have to say ... I see you everywhere (HA HA), AND the time and energy that you put into your posts are nothing short of refreshing, enthusiastic and motivating. You are human, after all, and bless you for caring enough to try to help others through their journeys. Your journey has been so successful and I can't tell you how much it makes me want to try harder. Stay strong and keep going... you are doing great! 

I think everyone above has said what I was thinking, it is funny sometimes I feel really lonely then all of a sudden my phone is ringing off the hook or messages to the point of there are too many to deal with, what do they say be careful what you wish for LOL.....But I do know how you feel. I always say you have friends for a reason, a season and a lifetime, so that is maybe what is happening on here. But don't feel sad this is a big part of life. I am very grateful for you making me think, sometimes you may say things that people don't like, it's not they don't like you, you have just hit the nail on the head and made them realize that is them.....but you are not talking to them, it is just an observation you are making, as you say you have been on here a long time and probably seen it all. You can call anytime you like just to chat......but that is up to you........you don't have to ever feel alone......just keep doing what you are doing.  

Paula, I too, have felt sad that some of the buddies that seemed to be the closest just went POOF! with almost no warning. I say, almost, because it was usually after their entries - food and journal - became more and more sporadic. And, from time to time, I look at their photos/avatars and wonder how they're doing. During the holiday times, it DOES get a bit lonely, as we're all off doing our own things. And if I pop on here and see very few buddies, well, it just feels like I showed up to the party on the wrong day! I personally don't know how to do the social thing aside from reading journals and the occasional forum post and posting a reply. Please keep on posting...you have a better "no spin zone" than Bill O'Reilly!!!! And I need that! 

You guys really make me feel so much better! Thank you for that. Thank you for just loving me for who I am. Who in the world could ask for more? Not me :))) Much Love! 

So sorry you're feeling blue - but you are inspiring, and your comments always make ME feel so much better - you have a special insight that always shines a light on the solution. I agree it can be tricky finding people who stay around, and even trickier connecting with people through comments, but just know that you are someone people are lucky to have popping over to their journals! 

Wanted to check in and see if you are feeling better today. You are inspiring, insightful and I love reading your posts. You are a success story that shows the rest of us that with strength and determination we can do it too. Some people come and go never to be heard from again; hopefully they will come back when they are ready. You are the glue that holds us all together and FS wouldn’t be the same without you.