|
Monday morning, good morning all!
Okay. I am officially a "mix it up" exerciser now. Two days in a row, or is it three? And I am SO SORE!!! I realized my Pilates DVD actually can be broken into 2 sections. I did the cardio portion today, 20 minutes in length and then a kettle bell work out, 15 minutes. I drafted a little schedule for myself with the plan being alternating Pilates, kettle bell, and elliptical or some combination thereof.
And ... to reward me ... the scale is up again today to 209.4. Perhaps still recovering from all the tasty food on Saturday evening? Perhaps because I have sore muscles? I don't know why but I do know I have still maintained a calorie deficit and that changing up my exercise is the right choice. Well, I don't really know if I had a calorie deficit or not on Saturday. I had to guess at the calories. But one "large" day shouldn't set me back a week. And I ate quite reasonably prior to the dinner out. And I did exercise. I am consciously working on NOT being bothered by the scale. I know it is only one measure and it is impacted by many factors, not all of which equate to "fat."
Our chimneys have been swept (we have two wood burning stoves, one in the main house and one in the attached "apartment") so we are ready to rock and roll for winter. My husband learned that he will be plowing this winter which means he will be working nights, Wednesday through Saturday, every week once the snow flies or the roads start to freeze. Our state transportation department is a mess. This year they are not hiring hourly employees so they are instead transferring several people from the engineering department over to the maintenance department and my husband was one of the "lucky" ones (sarcastically stated). They also plan on only 2 for the night shift and they are only going to plow Highway 95 (which is the main highway in Idaho) and not the other state roads during the night time hours. This could be a very interesting winter. If we get a storm during the night it could be an interesting drive into town in the morning. They will start plowing at 4 am but there is a lot of road to plow and only so many trucks so I anticipate dangerous driving conditions, lots of accidents and slide offs, we'll see. No one is happy about this. Unfortunately, the people who make these decisions live in a part of the state where there is not much snowfall. North Idaho has more snow than anywhere else in the state.
I suppose I better get off the computer and get myself showered, dressed, and ready for my day!! I have half a day in my "regular" job and half a day in my "side job" today so I am driving. I host my first Skype group reflective supervision today. I hope I can manage the technology okay. I only have two members to start but it is a start. It will grow.
I am kind to myself. I take care of myself. I like myself!! I love my body. What I want, wants me. I crave healthy foods. I am satisfied with healthy foods. I listen to my body and it tells me what it "needs." My body efficiently burns calories, shedding pounds. I weigh 180 lbs. My skinny jeans zip up easily. I am organized and efficient. I plan well and follow through with my plans. I am a successful businesswoman and entrepreneur. I am an expert in my field. People pay me for my expertise. Our wood shed is full. Our dental needs are met. I have money saved for a vacation in Mexico in February 2012. I am financially stable. I manage our finances wisely. I earn $100,000 a year. I handle strong emotion and conflict calmly. I believe in myself. I am confident. I am determined. I keep my mind on positives.
Grateful? Indeed!!!
1. For freshly swept chimneys!
2. For not giving up on myself.
3. For feeling the soreness in my body.
4. For the beautiful "anniversary" card and bauble my husband surprised me with on Saturday when he came home from work.
5. For breathing in and out, each inch of my body though imperfect is still here, and my life ... I am truly blessed.
I still struggle. Mightily. One thing that I struggle with the most is the feeling of "failure." I still have such a hard time not comparing myself to others. Don't misunderstand, I am so delighted with the success some of my buddies have had with losing weight and keeping it off ... really I am!!! It is me. I find myself thinking because I am "up" I have "failed." I constantly have to replace those thoughts and remind myself that each journey is unique. This detour was necessary for me. I have something to learn. I have NOT failed. I am still here. It is a slippery slope that I put myself on and one that is much too familiar. As strange as it sounds, it is a comfortable place. I know how to feel bad about me, I am less accustomed to feeling good about me.
I'm sure that is part of the lesson I am learning. The joy is in the journey. I can choose to feel as good about myself at 200+ lbs as I felt at 180-ish. It IS a choice. Choosing to feel good about me right now doesn't mean I stop working at being healthy, I simply choose to feel good about me!! And so I do. I like myself. I like myself. I like myself. I like myself. I like myself. I like myself. I like myself!!!!!
I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with this. So, those of you in similar shoes ... come join me. Choose to accept and love yourself ... warts and all!! Refuse to beat up on yourself. Refuse to give in to the negativity, and the defining your worth based on the number on the scale, the size dress you fit into. Don't ignore your health and your body ... simply don't beat up on yourself. That is the balance, the challenge for myself.
I couldn't do it without you here. I couldn't. I am grateful for each of you ... thank you ... for being here and sharing this journey with me, yours and mine!!
Have a good day!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 03 October 2011:
|
1911 kcal
|
Fat: 45.54g | Prot: 132.96g | Carb: 239.39g.
Breakfast: Blueberries, Oikos Plain 0% nonfat yogurt, Barleans Flax Oil, Silk Plain Almond Milk, banana, Body Fortress Whey Protein Powder, vanilla almond milk. Lunch: Cottage Cheese, chicken breast meat. Dinner: minute rice, stir fry vegetables, stir fry sauce, flank steak. Snacks/Other: Kellog's Crunchy Nut Cereal, Select 55, Rold Gold Cinnamon Pretzels, GOLEAN Peanut Butter & Chocolate, Luna Protein. more...
|
|
2965 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Driving - 2 hours, Desk Work - 8 hours, Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 15 minutes, Pilates - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 5 hours and 25 minutes. more...
|
|