HerStrawberri's Journal, 08 July 2011

This weekend I'm going to NOT have any splurges. My mom is coming to visit next weekend and I REALLY want to be down to 320 or below. I know 5 lbs prob won't make much of a difference in the way I look...but it's just something that will make me feel better. She hasn't seen me since christmas and I really want my weight loss to be noticable. My family has always been critical of my weight. Not really sure why. As far back as I can remember it's always been an issue, Which in turn created body image issues + low self esteem = Dawn doing drastic things to be thin. Which NOW = Dawn being highest weight EVER. But I'm living in the present and doing the healthy thing NOW. BUT her coming to visit then us going to my sis's for a fam get together is causing me a bit of anxiety. It's stupid really. I will get over it.

I have totally re-arranged my house. It has been keeping me busy this week, which is good. I have been doing alot of thinking about how I need to get out more and ways to do it. I think alot. My prob isn't WANTING to do something, it's DOING it. Small steps I guess. I have put myself in this bubble and I'm finding it hard to escape now. i will do it though. I just need to stop being so scared. I don't really even know WHY I'm so scared. I used to be this independant power house. NOW I'm this scared person i don't recognize some days. I will get it together. I'm better then i was though, and i *think* each day i get closer to the point at which I will be tired of it. i think. Hopefully. =)

Well that's enough for today.

Diet Calendar Entries for 08 July 2011:
1165 kcal Fat: 54.75g | Prot: 128.50g | Carb: 44.00g.   Breakfast: Turkey Sausage Patties, Light & Fit Carb and Sugar Control Yogurt - Strawberry, Turkey Sausage Patties. Lunch: Chicken Breast Tenderloins, Chicken Breast Tenderloins, 2% String Cheese Sticks, Light Ranch Dressing, IMPRL DELIGHT QTRS. Dinner: IMPRL DELIGHT QTRS, Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast, Turkey Meatballs Italian Style, Light & Fit Carb and Sugar Control Yogurt - Strawberry. Snacks/Other: day break apple crisp bar. more...
3591 kcal Activities & Exercise: Resting - 16 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...


Hang in there Dawn! I know what you mean about the pressure from family, my mother-in-law is always asking me if I'm losing weight, and last night she criticized my son for eating too much! It is hard... I know it must be hard for you to get out of that bubble, and I hope you are able to do it. Remember you are way way much more than a size - it is the person inside that counts, no matter what, and you seem like a very nice person. 
08 Jul 11 by member: HeatherKM
Best of luck and it'll take time but its not how long it takes its that you're doing something to change it! Just keep chugging along. Have a great weekend doll! 
08 Jul 11 by member: NoChubbyMom
Thank you Heather! That's horrible she did that to your son!! That's how eating disorders start. Thank you for the kind words. Thanx Shanna! have a great weekend as well.  
08 Jul 11 by member: HerStrawberri
First, it has been since christmas I am sure they will notice something and if they don't pffft on them you know what you have done and are doing and you should be very proud of that. Your weight does not define who you are as a person, and I know 5 pounds may not make a HUGE difference in your appearance but 5 pounds can make you feel so much better emotionally. Have a great weekend! 
08 Jul 11 by member: pixidaisy
Stay the course Strawberri whether she notices or not. I don't even mention it to my mom anymore since she is the only one in my life that says she doens't notice any difference!! Exercise in futility! 
08 Jul 11 by member: HealthyBabs
Dawn... she'll notice your new confidence.. and you look amazing in your clothes! You're wearing smaller clothes, and you're healthier... you're doing amazing!! 
09 Jul 11 by member: BrandyRelaxing
Hey sweetie, just want to point out that you are doing great at your current rate of loss but don't let her visit add pressure for you to push yourself harder. In the end, this isn't about pleasing her. It's about you finally overcoming the obstacles, even ones that well intentioned but critical people created. Don't give them the power any longer to hold your measuring stick, that's yours alone to do. They can either be supportive or quiet. Sending confident assertive vibes your way. You are doing a fantastic job, and I support you. ;) 
09 Jul 11 by member: nolechick
Oh, forgot to add that I love the new pic!  
09 Jul 11 by member: nolechick
Thank you everyone! Thank you SUE aka Miss Savannah! I'm feeling better today. Hopefully this feeling will stay. =)  
09 Jul 11 by member: HerStrawberri
Just checking to see how you are doing over the weekend. Hang in there. :-) 
09 Jul 11 by member: thiery


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