madaboutmoose's Journal, 21 April 2015

Day 2 being mindful again. It's been a rough few months. We had a generator crisis,magazines. DH didn't handle it very well which meant a lot of stress for me. I know he doesn't realize how emotionally abusive he is in those moments but he is. Almost said I'm done. Then we had to put our dog down. We knew it was coming. He had cancer and a perineal hernia. He was in pain. It was time. That was March 21st. The first day of Spring. Blue was the sweetest doberman I've ever had. I still cry. I miss him so damn much. We can't afford another dog right now. It's hard.

Then we learned the corner of our house is likely on State land! That's not good. I don't even know how to resolve that issue. We had wanted to sell. Ugh.

Obviously I've eaten my stress since I have gained weight. So I ache. I'm uncomfortable. I feel,like crap.

My DH sold his old vehicle and we had to buy another. That cost more than we had hoped. Financially we are stressed.

However today we have been married 25 years. A quarter of a century! There are many days I wonder if I should stay married. I don't like thinking that way.

So, on I go. Baby steps. I hate to post this because it isn't very uplifting. But, it is what's been happening with me. We still don't have the generator crisis resolved. Hope things are smoother in your world.