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How easy it is to fall off the wagon.
And how easy to feel so bad about oneself.
I reached a big goal last Friday- both my weight goal as well as the end of a 100 day challenge of no drinking and no desserts- and I had a celebration planned in NYC... my sister and I were going to the opera and out for dinner. I felt so great going into it. And just 24 hours later, I felt awful.
The dinner was great. We had traveled all day and all that I'd had to eat was an orange and a big bottle of water. That was probably mistake #1.
We dressed for dinner and I felt really good in a new dress and makeup and new shoes... the whole bit.
For dinner I ordered what most people would consider a "normal" meal: we started with a drink... (mistake #2 on an empty stomach after 100 days of not drinking) and then I had a fava bean and prosciutto salad, a pork tenderloin entrée with some asparagus and potatoes, some chewy Italian bread with olive oil, one and a half glasses of wine and a chocolate lava cake that was to die for! (It came with a thimble full of espresso gelato.)
SO delicious.
The opera was grand, but all the wine made me sleepy and I did nod off in the middle for a few seconds. (Considering the cost of the tickets, that was an expensive nap.)
We had a flute of champagne at intermission.
It was a lovely, if not a bit blurry night, and the opera - the whole experience was just so glamorous. Really lovely.
In the morning, I felt like crap.
Hung over a bit, mad at myself for the indulgence, bloated and anxious.
So it all went downhill.
We drove home and I had to spend the day working on a big and difficult presentation for work on Saturday (today). I was super anxious about the presentation and hung over and mad about my overindulging...and so I just "let go." I ate leftover lamb in a sandwich and then had some cereal (Fiber One) with craisins and peanuts (sort of like a trail mix) and then a turkey burger on a WHITE fluffy bun and some tomatoes and a yogurt. Stupid choices that made me really full.
I was exhausted and anxious and went to bed at 8 PM.
Now it is morning.
I am still really full and have a whole day of work and another stressful day of work tomorrow. I feel absolutely bloated and gross. Even though we did some good walking in the city across the park and back, I haven't exercised since Thursday.
Mostly, I feel disappointed and bloated and like a failure. I don't want to get on the scale for at least another week. I'm sorry that I couldn't really enjoy the celebration that I had planned... ( well, that's not true. I enjoyed the celebration, but the aftermath makes it barely worth it.)
I feel like I am super great at being on a program but when the leash is taken off, I can't handle it.
Diet Calendar Entries for 03 May 2014:
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964 kcal
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Fat: 44.99g | Prot: 55.17g | Carb: 91.32g.
Breakfast: Dunkin' Donuts Coffee with Skim Milk. Lunch: Jason's Deli Spinach Veggie Wrap. Dinner: Yoplait Whips! Yogurt Mousse - Chocolate Mousse, Bolthouse Farms Salsa Ranch Yogurt Dressing, Goats Cheese (Soft), Old El Paso Yellow Corn Taco Shells, Trader Joe's Papaya Mango Salsa, Shrimp. more...
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1580 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Resting - 16 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Don't beat yourself up, you managed to do what so many of us can’t do which is stay consistent for a long period of time. My only thought is that for future rewards still plan for moderation, especially if it is going to involve indulgences. I’m sure you know the areas that lead you astray. But you can get back on track starting today. I hope you feel better and start making some healthy choices to speed up the recovery process. You can do this!
03 May 14 by member: ChicaLean
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you may not be falling of the wagon, one thing i have runt into problems with in the past is the long bouncy plateau when i am dieting, well i finally had it explained to me and i want to share what was said with you.
You may still be losing Fat but you may also be gaining muscle. fat is 5 x larger than muscle. you lose 10 pounds of fat and gain 10 pounds of muscle the scale will not move, but your measurements will change. You may be losing weight, but also gaining at the same time that weight back in muscle. this is a good thing because muscle will help you lose more fat in the long run.
Just a little tidbit of information that maybe you are hitting that plateau but your still losing the bad weight.
Good luck and keep going for your goal
03 May 14 by member: onefatdragon
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I personally don't see the wagon you fell off of. If you took a detour and you are back on the trail today - it was just a short detour. I think my biggest mistakes have been not getting back on the trail...
03 May 14 by member: Karenka2012
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Don't be so hard on your self. Just keep it up, get back on track. You've achieved so much, don't waste more time on regrets... it's useless. Plus I don't think that you've done that big mistake. You are probably going to have to control your food and workouts your whole life. That just something that we,people with weight issues will have to live with forever. And you'll make more mistakes, a lot more of them, just get back on track. It doesent have to be perfect, just stay on track!
03 May 14 by member: Snekisss
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That hung over feeling would keep me from drinking ever again. So now you remember what that felt like. Not worth it. Now you can move forward and just occasionally enjoy a cocktail...just one in an evening. We don't have to quit enjoying life...we just have to be smarter about it.
03 May 14 by member: kmunson
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The thing is that that 100 days is part of your toolbox now. You did it once and the experiences that you had can be drawn upon to get back into getting your mind right. Don't dwell on mistakes when the solution is right in front of you.
03 May 14 by member: MNFats52
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when I daily eat right more then not ,,,
and last night I drank whooo cares enjoy yourself <3
ya dint go to a buffet and pig out
be easy on yourself the best way to get ahead is notices more of the awesome stuff ya did like spend the eve with your sis that is awesome in itself
I know I have 5 younger brothers and anytime we spend together theirs this magic a healing of sorts
NO BEATING YOURSELF UP IS ALLOWED <3
I say Bravoooooooooo <3
03 May 14 by member: dreamcatcher10
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Hung over. I always referred to over indulging in alcohol the night before and the effect the following day. I've since learned that you can be hung over from over indulgence in foods you rarely eat. Lessons learned. And I hope to keep learning.
03 May 14 by member: ClassicRocker
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