shadowx1110's Journal, 16 April 2014

1. For my health and personal happiness. Not ending up in a wheelchair like my mom and having all the weight-related complications like degradation of joints and diabetes and having to depend on someone else to take care of you. Not going out and being stared at everywhere I go because I'm the largest person in the room or the largest person someone else has ever seen. Treating my PCOS and lessening the effects of that. I want more confidence in myself, to interact with people without that nagging feeling in the back of my head saying that I'm not good enough.

2. For my baby girl. I want her to grow up knowing what healthy means and to reap all the benefits of that... I don't want her to endure all the physical and emotional pain I've suffered from being overweight my whole life. Kids learn by example and I want to be a good example for her. I want her to see her mommy running around with her, not sitting on the sidelines watching her have all the fun, her childhood should be fun for us both. Worse yet, I don't want her to have to be the one to take care of me :( I don't want to be a burden to her in any way. I don't want her to be the kid in school with a morbidly obese mommy and be teased over it. I want to give her everything that my parents didn't give me-- a parent that is involved, interested, loving, supportive, and above all teaches her about life.

3. For my husband. All these years I've known he doesn't care about my weight, but he does want me to be happy and healthy and has always gently supported that. I want to see him be happy because I'm happy.

4. For me. For my quality of life. For finally living life the way I had always wanted to. Being able to do more, be me more.. without the thought of not drawing attention to myself because attention brings stares and stares brings pain. For living free of the burden my weight has put on me. Not having everything I want to do or be or say be affected by weight. For fitting into the rollercoaster ride, going into a store and finding something cute in my size, spending the day shopping at several stores and not getting tired out after the first one, sitting on an airplane and not being squished in the seat, but most of all for healing and being happy with myself and my life and all my accomplishments :)

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 April 2014:
805 kcal Fat: 50.11g | Prot: 65.04g | Carb: 26.65g.   Breakfast: Spinach Mushroom & Onion Omelet. Lunch: Pork Chop, Yellow Summer Squash. Dinner: Chicken Broccoli Casserole. Snacks/Other: Water, Mozzarella Cheese, Sweet'N Low Sweet'n Low, Coffee, Great Value Powdered Creamer. more...
4299 kcal Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Driving - 1 hour, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 6 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet Atkins  

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