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Uncertainty....
I am getting the old familiar feelings of the barrage of symptoms that shut me down last year... Once I quit working and started the supplements the symptoms became manageable. This week has been the most difficult week I have had in quite a while. After I quit working the symptoms would be intermittent, and I could usually tell if I was doing to much and they were going to start. I can't afford for my seizures to start back up again. You can't drive if you have had a seizure in the last 6 months. Not to mention that they just plain SUCK!!!
The pain, fatigue and muscle weakness are starting to get the best of me again. I can tell a big difference from this week and last. What do you do if your brain has the drive to accomplish the world, but your body won't let you? Even my BodyBugg is showing a difference. Last week I was burning, on average, 500 more calories a day than I am this week, doing the EXACT SAME workouts and pushing myself in the exact same ways. My body has some crazy defect in energy use, conversion, and storage. I know I am doing to much. I know that these are little signs from my body that it's about to get really difficult if I don't slow down, but I don't want to slow down. I want to keep moving, I want the weight gone, and I want to feel good about myself again!! And I am not a patient type when it comes to my goals. I don't want it to be a year from now, I want it to happen in the next 5 months!!!
Ugh. We'll see.
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