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11 August 2011

Ok, so here we go again. I was doing really well at the beginning of the year and then after our trip to Arizona I got really sick again. I haven't been on here in a long time. My body bug subscription ran out too. So I have some catching up to do. I'm not any where close to the physical condition I was in February. My muscles are weak, twitching, cramping and locking up from the mito disease. But I will start again with diet and work my way back to walking again. It will be easier once the kids go back to school next week. But there it is. I have to back track 8 pounds. My goal is 160 by Christmas because I start clinicals for nurse practitioner in the spring and I want to be feeling better. Then my ultimate goal is 130 by next November. We will be taking our first family vacation ever to Disney World and I want to be able to walk the 8 miles a day that it takes to get through the parks without being exhausted. So there it is. New goal for a new decade. Did I mention that I just turned 30? : )
Weigh-in: 193.2 lb lost so far: 13.8 lb still to go: 43.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) on diet Jamaica4god's Lifestyle Change   gaining 0.4 lb a week

30 April 2011

I promised myself that I would only record the downs because I weigh myself frequently and I don't need anything else glaring at me to make me lose my motivation. But as it seems, I am, in a sense, starting over again. Because of this downhill stretch of illness my body is in the exact same place it was in Dec/Jan as far as weakness/other symptoms are concerned. Even though I have only gained 2 pounds back, it seems like I am starting all over again with just a different starting point. It has become difficult to eat certain things that i had gotten used to eating because they get stuck now, or I am to weak and woozy to stand that long to cook them.

It's disappointing to say the least. I promised myself I would not be in this place again. It was an empty promise. One I am realizing that I lack a certain level of control that I thought I had.

I can control what I put in my mouth. That hasn't gone completely to the dogs, but I can't control how far my muscles decide to let me travel that day; or the sudden total exhaustion that could only be compared to being shot in the butt with an elephant tranquilizer... It has become apparent that I don't have it all figured out as I thought.

Praying that God will bring me up out of this rut, over this hump both in my weight loss and in my illness.

So here goes: 188 is my "new" start weight.
Weigh-in: 188.0 lb lost so far: 19.0 lb still to go: 38.0 lb Diet followed poorly
   add comment on diet Jamaica4god's Lifestyle Change   gaining 1.0 lb a week

25 April 2011

21 April 2011

Crazy bad repercussions today... The last two days I walked two miles both mornings. I really should have spaced a day in between them to let my muscles recoup. At the end of the walk yesterday my left leg did a little lock up and give out number that is fairly unnerving. And today I have paid severely for pushing it to hard. It's almost like an uncontrollable need to sleep, along with the lovely inability to move muscles in a coordinated ambulatory like fashion... I get to looking kind of like a marionette puppet. And we won't even go into the pain...

Swallowing was fairly hard today so I didn't get to eat everything like I wanted to. I did get in a cup and a half of broccoli cooked very soft for dinner. The trouble was meat... So hard to swallow. How can I get in protein without packing on the calories that are associated with peanut butter and nutella? or the addiction... Boy, munching on nutella is just like eating a whole box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates... Talk about cravings and addictions!!! I could eat egg whites, but that gets old for breakfast lunch and dinner... Ah well, do what ya gotta do I guess...

16 April 2011

Totally bombed out this week. At a stand still because of my own poor choices. =( And now TOM is up in arms, so I am just not motivated... I was so excited in the beginning when the weight loss started and now it seems that the excitement is a little harder to reach, especially when it hurts so much...

So how do I find the excitement again?? =) I need a motivator. My graduation date was moved to December because there was a class I didn't know I was missing. When May was my graduation date, it was an exciting goal. Now it seems so far away. My birthday is in July. I'd love to do something totally awesome with some shopping involved. I had wanted to be 150 by my birthday at least. That's 15 weeks away. 36 pounds in 15 weeks... I definitely have to step it up to reach that goal. Man, in January when I first started this, July seemed so far away. Now it's right around the corner.

Here's to stepping it up a notch...

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